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8/07/2011

The Effects Of Punishment In Discipline

  Although,parents do try to use good discipline strategies,but the problem is,most parent try to deal with child  misbehavior by the use of punishment only. They don't know how to handle child misbehavior, some take discipline for punishment.
   So far, we have talked about discipline, which is teaching and in my previous articles we've talked about good teaching strategies.Get them in here!
   To proceed,parents need to make a clear-cut distinction between discipline and punishment. In this article,we base only on punishment- i mean it's effect on a child.
  Firstly, what is punishment?
  Secondly, when and how do we use punishment in discipline?
  Lastly, what effect or power does it have in child discipline?
What Is Discipline?:It is a very poor and ineffective tool that doesn't teach or motivate a child towards more desirable behavior, it only curb undesirable behavior.            
The Types Of Punishment : Listing out the types, i want parents to analyze, visualize and remember this punishments- i mean how do they feel when it was done to you then?
  Lecturing,
  Scolding,
  Sending the child to his room,
  Taking away the child's privileges and,
  Spanking.
Ask questions like, Does it motivate me to change my negative behavior back then in my childhood?
The Effect Of Punishment : Firstly, Punishment is only an attempt to curb undesirable behavior, it only tells a child what not to do,, it doesn't motivate the child.
Secondly, Parent intends the punishment to make things unpleasant for the child, so that he will change his behavior for better. Unfortunately, it strengthened the very undesirable behavior the parent wants to get rid of!
 Thirdly, Punishment loses it's effectiveness as the child grows older. You find them say somethings like :        " Have done wrong again, i will be punished for this. Well, it doesn't kill any way, am ready for it!"    
  Fourthly, The person who punishes is teaching the child or others to avoid him. How can you impact or influence the child's life positively?
  Lastly, What punishment does produce between parent-child relationship,is resentment,hostility, the desire for revenge or retaliation. It arouses negative feelings between parents and the child and we cannot teach our children a desirable behavior with punishment only. Get more tips here!
  

8/05/2011

6 Great Reasons You Should Not Spank A Child In Parenting.

Spanking is a form of punishment, when it comes to child discipline or parenting.By spanking , i mean a few good swats with your hand on the child bottom.
Some psychiatrists and psychologists have stated it explicitly that no parent should ever spank a child. I think this is nonsense.This comment or reading one of those "Non Spanking books" as hold the grim will power of parents not to spank the misbehaving child. This is completely wrong, it's an unrealistic approach.It's far better for parents to give the child a few quick swats and clear the air. Then the parent and the child can start over again.
To parents, whom spanking is the only discipline tool they know to keep their children in line.I want to emphasize that,spanking is a very poor and ineffective method of teaching a child.If you use a very good discipline strategies,Get it here!, there will be very few times when you are so frustrated that you will have the emotional need to spank.
Reasons You Shouldn't Use Spanking as the only discipline tool:Since spanking is a form of punishment,it suffers from all psychological drawbacks that go with any form of punishment,that is,it strengthened the particular undesirable behavior you are trying to correct.
Spanking,like other forms of punishment,is useless as the child gets older,say from Eleven upwards. Who ever is going to spank a teenager must be a good wrestler( And this cannot prevent the teenager from running away from home after been spanked).
Whenever we spank a child we are teaching the child to hate us,fight us, and avoid us. How can we teach our child if we have taught him to hate us, avoid us?.
Further more,some kind of spanking arouses a deep desire for revenge and retaliation. I can vividly recall the night my father whipped and wrestled with me.I will never forget how i hated him at those times,felt like running away and vowed for revenge.All because i didn't attend an evening church service. I even spit out the words for revenge that night to a man who went back to report to my father,which landed me into the den of hard spanking.
The tragedy is that so many parents simply accept spanking as their main means of discipline. That is truly sad. These parents do not see how ineffective and harmful a constant diet of spanking is to parent-child relationship. They do not realize what a vastly different youngster they would have around and how enormously more satisfying their relationships would be if they used a creative and humanistic discipline strategies or techniques. Get it here!. You will only have few times to spank.
Finally,there is this kind of uncontrollable action that leads you to spank- This kind that results from something other than child misbehavior. You spanked your child, but afterward you realized the child didn't deserve it. Perhaps you were having a fight or quarrel,argument or disagreement with some one or maybe all you went through at work and you took it out on your child. When you realized this, Please go to the child,explained what had happened to you and apologize for what you've done, it does wonderful thing for the child.You got more in here!.Check it out!.