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12/26/2013

4 Helpful Ways To Help Stop Bullying

Stop Bullying
Bullying! Bullying!! Bullying!!!
Do you wanna know how to stop this?
If Yes, then this article is for YOU only.
Make sure you read from start to the end...

Bullying  is always a serious issue, every parent must be fully prepared for it because its a normal and natural occurrence,is part of our nature and get this...it's not our fault or the child's fault,if they get bullied, we should acknowledge this!



Bullying in my own view as just only 3 (three) types,we have;
  •  The Physical Bullying
  •  The Verbal Bullying and
  •  The Cyber Bullying
Both can be done either by an individual(a kid) or a group(a gang of kids). I so much believe that kids who involve in bullying others are troubled ones,they kids who are facing a lot of troubles at home,which they can't handle,some have bottled up a lot of pains from what they've gone through and this have affected their emotions. So in order to express their feelings,share,mingle and to create awareness among their fellows is kinda difficult for them,instead of being positive they go negative with others. This is another parenting issue on is own.
Actions such as,picking on a fellow,demeaning,shoving,pushing etc are done in various places especially in schools and in the neighborhood where no adult sees it...this is what makes bullying a hard issue to tackle. Yet you must tackle it!  

Most parent, do use this Traditional Method to stop bullying,traditional methods such as;
  •  Telling Your kids To Never Mind Or Ignore Bullying,
  • Fighting Or Hit Back Bullying, and
  • Challenging the kid that bullied or their parent.
 Truly this methods do work but it does live a mark in a little kid's life for God knows how long!
  Imagine, a kid who as been trained on how to ignore bullying and not to worry about it...and such kids will keep on going through this pains and hurt from his or her fellow. Or a child who as been trained on how fight back whenever he/she is been bullied. Or you do help your kids fight back and challenge the kid who bullied or their parent...what do you think both kids will become?
What kinda atmosphere do you think you are creating for your kid and yourself?
To me, both kids will arbor pains in themselves,including you...The ignoring bully kid might one day commit suicide when it's too much while The fight back kid, will definitely become a bully too (because of too much aggression in defense whenever been bullied). And for the involving parent,who do challenge the kid that bullied or their parent, this might create a strong lasting enmity between your kid and the other kid even between you parents too!
So,I don't use this methods...will you?

Here Are 4 Helpful Ways To Stop Bullying
  • Respond To Your Child's Feelings: If your child is being bullied,let your child know that you do care about their feelings and value their life as well. This alone,will give your child hope and even courage for solution because they have someone they can rely on,someone who they can share what they feel in the inside with...teenagers wants to know that they've being heard and that their feelings matter but this depends on the kind of Parent-Child relationship you've built.This will then bring up the step of what you both will do to stop the bullying.
  • Report To The Authorities: Here after responding to your child's feelings, you have to do something...so,go ahead and prove it to them that you care and value them...Take note of caution, don't do this with anger or aggressiveness because it will send a wrong message to your child and it will not help stop the bullying but make it worse!Approaching the Authorities (I mean School authorities or the other parent directly) should be done in a very mature way. The way you approach really matters,when you approach some people while you're angry, you might inflict them with it and this will bring more problem. Try as best as you can to ease you anger and pain on what had happen to your child. Though, is gonna be easy...just keep your sanity!(Responding to your child's feelings and reporting to the authorities are actions you must take) 
  • Teach Your kid To Stand Up For Themselves: The reason why most kid get bullied is For Being Different. So,teach them these;
  1.  To look naturally confident and self-assured,
  2. Have good self-esteem,
  3.  How to care about their appearance ( to be well presented) and
  4.  How to use eye contact.
 I assure this will help them a lot!
  •  Empower them-(Positive Peer Group): To me, this is very helpful when you're not around or far away. It's also a very helpful tool to stop bullying for care givers such as, Teachers,Proprietors etc.At times,when you report to schools authorities about bullying you find out it doesn't stop,don't blame them bullying reports is just too much. In fact,most schools don't permit kids to fight back or defend themselves when bullied.
So,teach or empower them to stop bullying themselves. How you ask?
It's simple,just tell them to work/walk in group...its like having or creating a PRIDE OF TEENAGERS not PRIDE OF LIONS.
Encourage,motivate and challenge them on this group thing...it's gonna be difficult for bullying to occur!
(Teaching your kid/s how to stand up for themselves and empowering them are ways to boost your child self esteem)

Do you have any other ways to help stop bullying?
If you do...please share/post here.

12/03/2013

Stages Where Patience And Perseverance Must Be Exercised In Parenting

Stages You Need Patience

"Patience is BITTER,but it's fruit is SWEET" - Aristotle. Parenting requires you to persevere and have patients which is kind of bitter to do a SUCCESSFUL PARENTING JOB which will be sweetest at the end.Going through child rearing duti"es and responsibilities right from childbirth and training them through each development stage could be so hectic that most parent lose their patience and perseverance which are very necessary. As a parent,when you lose yours,your child looses his or hers too... then it becomes a war in this parenting field. This article lay more emphasis on these questions such as;
What is Patience? 
What is Perseverance? 
In what ways do parent make this mistake often? How do we exercise and also help how to children to exercise them too? 
What is PATIENCE? 
Patience is the capacity or ability to endure something tedious such as provocation,annoyance,pains and misfortunes without complaint but with calm and strength.
What is PERSEVERANCE?
Perseverance is that quality of continuing in something even if it is difficult. It is having this tenacious mindset of not giving up. Looking at this definition, I feel both words are interwoven a bit. But they are not the same,yet very much alike... especially when it comes to parenting. As a parent, try to remember when you were pregnant with your baby. You and your partner waited patiently for the appointed time. You waited patiently for the fetus to form in the womb,you waited and allowed the baby to grow properly in the womb,you also waited patiently for the expected day of delivery.
Why do you preserved,endured and waited with such patience?
 Because you don't want to have a premature or Mal-adjusted baby. Right?
But after delivery, the sweetness of our patients and perseverance do feel our heart that we never thought and even choose to forget how many months or years we've waited. This I'd say is the first stage we all do PASS when it comes to patience and perseverance in parenting. As a parent, do you exercise patience and persevere as your child totters towards maturity? Dear parent, for you to be successful in this parenting job you are in, PATIENCE and PERSEVERANCE had to be CONSIDERED. So,adding more effort to the kind of patience and perseverance we have earlier when we are trying to have the baby must be pursued. As our child totters towards maturity there are lots of duties of child-rearing but am sure most parents can relate to some such as; Learning to walk,toilet training,trying that first set of shoes,learning to read or home schooling and much more,exercising patience and perseverance will take you through all this.
In what ways do parent make this mistake often?
How do we exercise and also help our children to exercise them too?
Truly child training must begin early but we have to be careful,most parent are known to hurry and get so impatient with their child 's development emotionally, physically, intellectually, spiritually and socially. Most children, whose parent didn't exercise patience in their up bringing may seems to cope but somewhere,somehow, they will suffer some serious setbacks.
  1. PHYSICAL,EMOTIONAL,INTELLECTUAL AND SOCIAL: Patience and perseverance in children's physical,emotional,intellectual and social growth must also be considered as they develop. As a parent you must carefully study your kid to know what approach is best, cherish them,teach and correct them along these lines of development, your teaching and training have to be relevant to their age and developmental stage. There are parents who are known to rush teachings and disciplines on their children so they can act mature and well discipline quickly using means such as scolding,spanking and other kind of punishment all in the name of discipline. Inserting teachings,instructions and disciplines into children takes time,they may adapt to some quickly but because of their fallible and naive nature you will find them making the same mistake over and over,after repeated corrections,this could be so frustrating but here is where patience and perseverance is needed... this will make you an ideal teacher, they may learn from you,learn on their own or from people around them,just humble yourself,love and honor them because they human too,don't seek to control them and try not to lose it! They are also parents who are known to rush their children through schools(even cutting corners sometimes) so they can get to higher institutions quickly, "this often has negative consequences" says an expert educationist. Proof of this lies in the disturbing number of underage undergraduates in tertiary institutions who continue to fall prey to all kinds of evil influences and frustrating challenges because they are neither mentally nor emotionally mature enough to deal with experiences they are being expose to.
  2. SPIRITUAL: Patience and perseverance is also necessary in the spiritual development of children. On this aspect, parents shouldn't attempt to intimidate or force them to be religious,because it will not last,teaching your child to build relationship with God has to be patiently nurtured, not forcefully imposed. Some children do feel excessively pressurized and over sermon by their parents may even choose to dare their impatient parents by doing exactly what will annoy them and some will only pretend to be what you want them to be.So as a parent you should patiently guide and teach your child to his or her own personal commitment to God,praying ceaselessly for them (God's intervention) will help a lot!
      In the mean time feel free to make or give comment on this issue...