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Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts

12/03/2013

Stages Where Patience And Perseverance Must Be Exercised In Parenting

Stages You Need Patience

"Patience is BITTER,but it's fruit is SWEET" - Aristotle. Parenting requires you to persevere and have patients which is kind of bitter to do a SUCCESSFUL PARENTING JOB which will be sweetest at the end.Going through child rearing duti"es and responsibilities right from childbirth and training them through each development stage could be so hectic that most parent lose their patience and perseverance which are very necessary. As a parent,when you lose yours,your child looses his or hers too... then it becomes a war in this parenting field. This article lay more emphasis on these questions such as;
What is Patience? 
What is Perseverance? 
In what ways do parent make this mistake often? How do we exercise and also help how to children to exercise them too? 
What is PATIENCE? 
Patience is the capacity or ability to endure something tedious such as provocation,annoyance,pains and misfortunes without complaint but with calm and strength.
What is PERSEVERANCE?
Perseverance is that quality of continuing in something even if it is difficult. It is having this tenacious mindset of not giving up. Looking at this definition, I feel both words are interwoven a bit. But they are not the same,yet very much alike... especially when it comes to parenting. As a parent, try to remember when you were pregnant with your baby. You and your partner waited patiently for the appointed time. You waited patiently for the fetus to form in the womb,you waited and allowed the baby to grow properly in the womb,you also waited patiently for the expected day of delivery.
Why do you preserved,endured and waited with such patience?
 Because you don't want to have a premature or Mal-adjusted baby. Right?
But after delivery, the sweetness of our patients and perseverance do feel our heart that we never thought and even choose to forget how many months or years we've waited. This I'd say is the first stage we all do PASS when it comes to patience and perseverance in parenting. As a parent, do you exercise patience and persevere as your child totters towards maturity? Dear parent, for you to be successful in this parenting job you are in, PATIENCE and PERSEVERANCE had to be CONSIDERED. So,adding more effort to the kind of patience and perseverance we have earlier when we are trying to have the baby must be pursued. As our child totters towards maturity there are lots of duties of child-rearing but am sure most parents can relate to some such as; Learning to walk,toilet training,trying that first set of shoes,learning to read or home schooling and much more,exercising patience and perseverance will take you through all this.
In what ways do parent make this mistake often?
How do we exercise and also help our children to exercise them too?
Truly child training must begin early but we have to be careful,most parent are known to hurry and get so impatient with their child 's development emotionally, physically, intellectually, spiritually and socially. Most children, whose parent didn't exercise patience in their up bringing may seems to cope but somewhere,somehow, they will suffer some serious setbacks.
  1. PHYSICAL,EMOTIONAL,INTELLECTUAL AND SOCIAL: Patience and perseverance in children's physical,emotional,intellectual and social growth must also be considered as they develop. As a parent you must carefully study your kid to know what approach is best, cherish them,teach and correct them along these lines of development, your teaching and training have to be relevant to their age and developmental stage. There are parents who are known to rush teachings and disciplines on their children so they can act mature and well discipline quickly using means such as scolding,spanking and other kind of punishment all in the name of discipline. Inserting teachings,instructions and disciplines into children takes time,they may adapt to some quickly but because of their fallible and naive nature you will find them making the same mistake over and over,after repeated corrections,this could be so frustrating but here is where patience and perseverance is needed... this will make you an ideal teacher, they may learn from you,learn on their own or from people around them,just humble yourself,love and honor them because they human too,don't seek to control them and try not to lose it! They are also parents who are known to rush their children through schools(even cutting corners sometimes) so they can get to higher institutions quickly, "this often has negative consequences" says an expert educationist. Proof of this lies in the disturbing number of underage undergraduates in tertiary institutions who continue to fall prey to all kinds of evil influences and frustrating challenges because they are neither mentally nor emotionally mature enough to deal with experiences they are being expose to.
  2. SPIRITUAL: Patience and perseverance is also necessary in the spiritual development of children. On this aspect, parents shouldn't attempt to intimidate or force them to be religious,because it will not last,teaching your child to build relationship with God has to be patiently nurtured, not forcefully imposed. Some children do feel excessively pressurized and over sermon by their parents may even choose to dare their impatient parents by doing exactly what will annoy them and some will only pretend to be what you want them to be.So as a parent you should patiently guide and teach your child to his or her own personal commitment to God,praying ceaselessly for them (God's intervention) will help a lot!
      In the mean time feel free to make or give comment on this issue...

5/30/2013

Reasons You Should Not Use Spanking As The Only Discipline Tool As A Parent

Don't Use Spanking Only


  Spanking is a form of punishment, when it comes to child discipline or parenting. By spanking, I mean a few good swats with your hand on the child bottom.
Don't Use Spanking Only
  Some psychiatrists and psychologists have stated it explicitly that no parent should ever spank a child. I think this is nonsense. This comment or reading one of those "Non Spanking books" as hold the grim will power of parents not to spank the misbehaving child. This is completely wrong, it's an unrealistic approach. It's far better for parents to give the child a few quick swats and clear the air. Then the parent and the child can start over again.
       To parents, whom spanking is the only discipline tool they know to keep their children in line, I want to emphasize that spanking is a very poor and ineffective method of teaching a child. If you use a very good discipline strategies, there will be very few times when you are so frustrated that you will have the emotional need to spank.

Reasons You Shouldn't Use Spanking as the only discipline tool:

Since spanking is a form of punishment, it suffers from all psychological drawbacks that go with any form of punishment, that is, it strengthened the particular undesirable behavior you are trying to correct.
Spanking, like other forms of punishment, is useless as the child gets older, say from Ten upwards. Who ever is going to spank a teenager must be a good wrestler( And this cannot prevent the teenager from running away from home after being spanked).
Whenever we spank a child we are teaching the child to hate us, fight us, and avoid us. How can we teach our child if we have taught him to hate us, avoid us?.
Further more, some kind of spanking arouses a deep desire for revenge and retaliation. I can vividly recall the night my father whipped and wrestled with me. I will never forget how I hated him at those times, felt like running away and vowed for revenge. All because I didn't attend an evening church service. I even spit out the words for revenge that night to a man who went back to report to my father, which landed me into the den of hard spanking.
The tragedy is that so many parents simply accept spanking as their main means of discipline. That is truly sad. These parents do not see how ineffective and harmful a constant diet of spanking is to parent-child relationship. They do not realize what a vastly different youngster they would have around and how enormously more satisfying their relationships would be if they used a creative and humanistic discipline strategies or techniques. You will only have few times to spank.
Finally, there is this kind of uncontrollable action that leads you to spank - This kind that results from something other than child misbehaviour. You spanked your child, but afterwards you realized the child didn't deserve it. Perhaps you were having a fight or quarrel, argument or disagreement with some one or maybe all you went through at work and you took it out on your child. When you realized this, Please go to the child, explained what had happened to you and apologize for what you've done, it does wonderful thing for the child.
In the mean time, feel free to comment and share your thoughts