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Showing posts with label child discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label child discipline. Show all posts

12/03/2013

Stages Where Patience And Perseverance Must Be Exercised In Parenting

Stages You Need Patience

"Patience is BITTER,but it's fruit is SWEET" - Aristotle. Parenting requires you to persevere and have patients which is kind of bitter to do a SUCCESSFUL PARENTING JOB which will be sweetest at the end.Going through child rearing duti"es and responsibilities right from childbirth and training them through each development stage could be so hectic that most parent lose their patience and perseverance which are very necessary. As a parent,when you lose yours,your child looses his or hers too... then it becomes a war in this parenting field. This article lay more emphasis on these questions such as;
What is Patience? 
What is Perseverance? 
In what ways do parent make this mistake often? How do we exercise and also help how to children to exercise them too? 
What is PATIENCE? 
Patience is the capacity or ability to endure something tedious such as provocation,annoyance,pains and misfortunes without complaint but with calm and strength.
What is PERSEVERANCE?
Perseverance is that quality of continuing in something even if it is difficult. It is having this tenacious mindset of not giving up. Looking at this definition, I feel both words are interwoven a bit. But they are not the same,yet very much alike... especially when it comes to parenting. As a parent, try to remember when you were pregnant with your baby. You and your partner waited patiently for the appointed time. You waited patiently for the fetus to form in the womb,you waited and allowed the baby to grow properly in the womb,you also waited patiently for the expected day of delivery.
Why do you preserved,endured and waited with such patience?
 Because you don't want to have a premature or Mal-adjusted baby. Right?
But after delivery, the sweetness of our patients and perseverance do feel our heart that we never thought and even choose to forget how many months or years we've waited. This I'd say is the first stage we all do PASS when it comes to patience and perseverance in parenting. As a parent, do you exercise patience and persevere as your child totters towards maturity? Dear parent, for you to be successful in this parenting job you are in, PATIENCE and PERSEVERANCE had to be CONSIDERED. So,adding more effort to the kind of patience and perseverance we have earlier when we are trying to have the baby must be pursued. As our child totters towards maturity there are lots of duties of child-rearing but am sure most parents can relate to some such as; Learning to walk,toilet training,trying that first set of shoes,learning to read or home schooling and much more,exercising patience and perseverance will take you through all this.
In what ways do parent make this mistake often?
How do we exercise and also help our children to exercise them too?
Truly child training must begin early but we have to be careful,most parent are known to hurry and get so impatient with their child 's development emotionally, physically, intellectually, spiritually and socially. Most children, whose parent didn't exercise patience in their up bringing may seems to cope but somewhere,somehow, they will suffer some serious setbacks.
  1. PHYSICAL,EMOTIONAL,INTELLECTUAL AND SOCIAL: Patience and perseverance in children's physical,emotional,intellectual and social growth must also be considered as they develop. As a parent you must carefully study your kid to know what approach is best, cherish them,teach and correct them along these lines of development, your teaching and training have to be relevant to their age and developmental stage. There are parents who are known to rush teachings and disciplines on their children so they can act mature and well discipline quickly using means such as scolding,spanking and other kind of punishment all in the name of discipline. Inserting teachings,instructions and disciplines into children takes time,they may adapt to some quickly but because of their fallible and naive nature you will find them making the same mistake over and over,after repeated corrections,this could be so frustrating but here is where patience and perseverance is needed... this will make you an ideal teacher, they may learn from you,learn on their own or from people around them,just humble yourself,love and honor them because they human too,don't seek to control them and try not to lose it! They are also parents who are known to rush their children through schools(even cutting corners sometimes) so they can get to higher institutions quickly, "this often has negative consequences" says an expert educationist. Proof of this lies in the disturbing number of underage undergraduates in tertiary institutions who continue to fall prey to all kinds of evil influences and frustrating challenges because they are neither mentally nor emotionally mature enough to deal with experiences they are being expose to.
  2. SPIRITUAL: Patience and perseverance is also necessary in the spiritual development of children. On this aspect, parents shouldn't attempt to intimidate or force them to be religious,because it will not last,teaching your child to build relationship with God has to be patiently nurtured, not forcefully imposed. Some children do feel excessively pressurized and over sermon by their parents may even choose to dare their impatient parents by doing exactly what will annoy them and some will only pretend to be what you want them to be.So as a parent you should patiently guide and teach your child to his or her own personal commitment to God,praying ceaselessly for them (God's intervention) will help a lot!
      In the mean time feel free to make or give comment on this issue...

7/16/2013

Three Good Answers To Spanking Issues That Borders You

Spanking


When it comes to child discipline is spanking an effective and valuable tool?
Will spanking make our children behave better?
These are some the questions been asked by parents about this form of punishment (spanking) and i believe they are more of this questions.Being a parent make sure you read this article from the start to end, i assure it will give you more insight about spanking.Read this spanking article too.

Imagine this scenario:When a child misbehave, and the parent watch their child and longs to whack the child but didn't due to some "non-spanking" articles or book such parent reads.I would say this is completely wrong and an unrealistic approach...is better to give that child a quick swat on the butt,clear the air and the two of you can start over.As human beings,we all are fallible and because of our fallibility,we do make mistakes or do wrongs.This shows that we are not 100 percent perfect...children being young and naive do make mistakes which makes parents become impatient and lose their temper,this is natural but it would be much better if parent are in control...i mean to be patient when they(children) do wrongs.I want to emphasise here that occasional use of spanking is a very poor and ineffective method of discipline.My position here is far different from that of the parents who use spanking as the only discipline tool to keep their children in line.

Spanking Worries
Your Choice: As a parent you might be thinking that am not in the right place to tell or show how to raise up your child...you're right! we all are raised by different parents groomed or instilled with different teachings or discipline.So,you may decide to use spanking or not to use it at all...but reading this article to end will answers and covers all or some about spanking and also give you more answers and that covers all or some about spanking.

Spanking Stings: I call this statistics or researches below stings because this are it's effect on children...when you use spanking as your only discipline tool,when you use it occasionally or the at the slightest mistake your child made.Research has shown that the more children are spanked, the more likely it is that children will;
engage in antisocial behaviour, such as lying, stealing, cheating, bullying, assaulting a sibling or peers,act aggressively toward others,
develop mental health problems, such as depression and suicidality,
have a less close relationship with their parents.
Spanking being a harsh physical punishment is also associated with increased odds of mood disorders, anxiety disorders, alcohol and drug abuse/dependence, and several personality disorders." studies show that more physical punishment is associated with more aggressiveness.So,occasional use of spanking is not effective and valuable,it will make parenting ugly. 

You Need More Maturity:When it comes to spanking,i know you are trying to put our children on the right path,you are trying to make your children's mind but most you loose our mind?
Parent should understand that it's normal and natural,children will frustrate and get on your nerves.Parents have to accept this,we can't stop them from it only to change them,but you have to keep calm,exercise patience and stay sane to do so.This is maturity! 

You Need To Stay Sane:Though we are humans too,but loosing your temper when they misbehave will only make you a loser,because you will only make things worst.Loosing your temper,you may shout,smack or spank your kid...doing this you are effectively sanctioning their angry response.You are telling them is okay to lose control and be aggressive.When you spank them a lot,you will damage them emotionally and you may turn them into bullies and it will also damage the parent-child relationship and it won't help their future relationship with others as they grow up.

You Need To Apologise At Times:We parent are humans and it's normal and natural that we make this mistake of shouting at them and hitting them.At this moment,we need to clear the air and make up with our kid.Though,it may not be easy...you may think "am the parent and he or she is the kid at fault,so why should i apologise?" being a parent,we need humility in this job,what we do is what our child we that after.Kids are humans,they have emotions too...they deserve to hear the word "i am sorry" it softens the heart, and cleanse the offender of wrong.

 In the mean time feel free to comment or share your thought.