Three Good Answers To Spanking Issues That Borders You

Spanking

When it comes to child discipline is spanking an effective and valuable tool?
Will spanking make our children behave better?
These are some the questions been asked by parents about this form of punishment (spanking) and i believe they are more of this questions.Being a parent make sure you read this article from the start to end, i assure it will give you more insight about spanking.Read this spanking article too.

Imagine this scenario:When a child misbehave, and the parent watch their child and longs to whack the child but didn't due to some "non-spanking" articles or book such parent reads.I would say this is completely wrong and an unrealistic approach...is better to give that child a quick swat on the butt,clear the air and the two of you can start over.As human beings,we all are fallible and because of our fallibility,we do make mistakes or do wrongs.This shows that we are not 100 percent perfect...children being young and naive do make mistakes which makes parents become impatient and lose their temper,this is natural but it would be much better if parent are in control...i mean to be patient when they(children) do wrongs.I want to emphasise here that occasional use of spanking is a very poor and ineffective method of discipline.My position here is far different from that of the parents who use spanking as the only discipline tool to keep their children in line.

Spanking Worries

Your Choice: As a parent you might be thinking that am not in the right place to tell or show how to raise up your child...you're right! we all are raised by different parents groomed or instilled with different teachings or discipline.So,you may decide to use spanking or not to use it at all...but reading this article to end will answers and covers all or some about spanking and also give you more answers and that covers all or some about spanking.

Spanking Stings: I call this statistics or researches below stings because this are it's effect on children...when you use spanking as your only discipline tool,when you use it occasionally or the at the slightest mistake your child made.Research has shown that the more children are spanked, the more likely it is that children will;
engage in antisocial behaviour, such as lying, stealing, cheating, bullying, assaulting a sibling or peers,act aggressively toward others,
develop mental health problems, such as depression and suicidality,
have a less close relationship with their parents.
Spanking being a harsh physical punishment is also associated with increased odds of mood disorders, anxiety disorders, alcohol and drug abuse/dependence, and several personality disorders." studies show that more physical punishment is associated with more aggressiveness.So,occasional use of spanking is not effective and valuable,it will make parenting ugly. 

You Need More Maturity:When it comes to spanking,i know you are trying to put our children on the right path,you are trying to make your children's mind but most you loose our mind?
Parent should understand that it's normal and natural,children will frustrate and get on your nerves.Parents have to accept this,we can't stop them from it only to change them,but you have to keep calm,exercise patience and stay sane to do so.This is maturity! 

You Need To Stay Sane:Though we are humans too,but loosing your temper when they misbehave will only make you a loser,because you will only make things worst.Loosing your temper,you may shout,smack or spank your kid...doing this you are effectively sanctioning their angry response.You are telling them is okay to lose control and be aggressive.When you spank them a lot,you will damage them emotionally and you may turn them into bullies and it will also damage the parent-child relationship and it won't help their future relationship with others as they grow up.

You Need To Apologise At Times:We parent are humans and it's normal and natural that we make this mistake of shouting at them and hitting them.At this moment,we need to clear the air and make up with our kid.Though,it may not be easy...you may think "am the parent and he or she is the kid at fault,so why should i apologise?" being a parent,we need humility in this job,what we do is what our child we that after.Kids are humans,they have emotions too...they deserve to hear the word "i am sorry" it softens the heart, and cleanse the offender of wrong.

 In the mean time feel free to comment or share your thought.

5 Effects Of Punishment In Parenting When Used As The Only Discipline tool

Effect Of Punishment In Parenting

Although,parents do try to use good discipline strategies,but the problem is,most parent try to deal with child misbehaviour by the use of punishment only...use it as the only discipline tool. They don't know how to handle child misbehaviour, some take discipline for punishment.

So far, we have talked about discipline, which is teaching and in my previous articles we've talked about good teaching strategies.

To go ahead, parents need to make a clear-cut distinction between discipline and punishment. In this article, we base only on punishment- I mean it's effect on a child.

Firstly, what is punishment?

Secondly, when and how do we use punishment in discipline?

Lastly, what effect or power does it have in child discipline?

What is punishment?: It is a very poor and ineffective tool that doesn't teach or motivate a child towards more desirable behaviour, it only curb undesirable behaviour.

The types of punishment: Listing out the types, I want parents to analyse, visualise and remember this punishments- I mean how do they feel when it 's done to you then?

Lecturing,
Scolding,
Sending the child to his room,
Taking away the child's privileges and,
Spanking.

Ask questions like, does it motivate me to change my negative behaviour back then in my childhood?

Does it influence that negative act or the misbehaviour?

The Effect Of Punishment: Firstly, punishment only curb undesirable behaviour, it only tells a child what not to do,, it doesn't motivate the child.

Secondly, parent intends the punishment to make things unpleasant for the child, so that he will change his behaviour for better. Unfortunately, it strengthened the very undesirable behaviour the parent wants to get rid of!

Thirdly, punishment loses its effectiveness as the child grows older. You find them say some things like: " Have done wrong again, I will be punish for this. Well, it doesn't kill any way, am ready for it!"

Fourthly, the person who punishes is teaching the child or others to avoid him. How can you impact or influence the child's life positively?

Fifthly, punishment reduces or make the child to lack confidence as they grow up and this differentiate the child from any other in the society.Its like putting the child in a lonely or different world

Lastly, what punishment does produce between parent-child relationship, is resentment, hostility, the wish for revenge or retaliation. It arouses negative feelings between parents and the child and we cannot teach our children a desirable behaviour with punishment only.

Parents need to make a clear-cut distinction between discipline and punishment. In this article,am emphasising that,parent shouldn't use punishment as the main and only discipline tool. 

In the mean time, feel free to comment and share your thoughts

Reasons You Should Not Use Spanking As The Only Discipline Tool As A Parent

Don't Use Spanking Only

  Spanking is a form of punishment, when it comes to child discipline or parenting. By spanking, I mean a few good swats with your hand on the child bottom.

Don't Use Spanking Only

  Some psychiatrists and psychologists have stated it explicitly that no parent should ever spank a child. I think this is nonsense. This comment or reading one of those "Non Spanking books" as hold the grim will power of parents not to spank the misbehaving child. This is completely wrong, it's an unrealistic approach. It's far better for parents to give the child a few quick swats and clear the air. Then the parent and the child can start over again.

       To parents, whom spanking is the only discipline tool they know to keep their children in line, I want to emphasize that spanking is a very poor and ineffective method of teaching a child. If you use a very good discipline strategies, there will be very few times when you are so frustrated that you will have the emotional need to spank.

Reasons You Shouldn't Use Spanking as the only discipline tool:

Since spanking is a form of punishment, it suffers from all psychological drawbacks that go with any form of punishment, that is, it strengthened the particular undesirable behavior you are trying to correct.

Spanking, like other forms of punishment, is useless as the child gets older, say from Ten upwards. Who ever is going to spank a teenager must be a good wrestler( And this cannot prevent the teenager from running away from home after being spanked).

Whenever we spank a child we are teaching the child to hate us, fight us, and avoid us. How can we teach our child if we have taught him to hate us, avoid us?.

Further more, some kind of spanking arouses a deep desire for revenge and retaliation. I can vividly recall the night my father whipped and wrestled with me. I will never forget how I hated him at those times, felt like running away and vowed for revenge. All because I didn't attend an evening church service. I even spit out the words for revenge that night to a man who went back to report to my father, which landed me into the den of hard spanking.

The tragedy is that so many parents simply accept spanking as their main means of discipline. That is truly sad. These parents do not see how ineffective and harmful a constant diet of spanking is to parent-child relationship. They do not realize what a vastly different youngster they would have around and how enormously more satisfying their relationships would be if they used a creative and humanistic discipline strategies or techniques. You will only have few times to spank.

Finally, there is this kind of uncontrollable action that leads you to spank - This kind that results from something other than child misbehaviour. You spanked your child, but afterwards you realized the child didn't deserve it. Perhaps you were having a fight or quarrel, argument or disagreement with some one or maybe all you went through at work and you took it out on your child. When you realized this, Please go to the child, explained what had happened to you and apologize for what you've done, it does wonderful thing for the child.

In the mean time, feel free to comment and share your thoughts