Three Good Answers To Spanking Issues That Borders You

Spanking

When it comes to child discipline is spanking an effective and valuable tool?
Will spanking make our children behave better?
These are some the questions been asked by parents about this form of punishment (spanking) and i believe they are more of this questions.Being a parent make sure you read this article from the start to end, i assure it will give you more insight about spanking.Read this spanking article too.

Imagine this scenario:When a child misbehave, and the parent watch their child and longs to whack the child but didn't due to some "non-spanking" articles or book such parent reads.I would say this is completely wrong and an unrealistic approach...is better to give that child a quick swat on the butt,clear the air and the two of you can start over.As human beings,we all are fallible and because of our fallibility,we do make mistakes or do wrongs.This shows that we are not 100 percent perfect...children being young and naive do make mistakes which makes parents become impatient and lose their temper,this is natural but it would be much better if parent are in control...i mean to be patient when they(children) do wrongs.I want to emphasise here that occasional use of spanking is a very poor and ineffective method of discipline.My position here is far different from that of the parents who use spanking as the only discipline tool to keep their children in line.

Spanking Worries

Your Choice: As a parent you might be thinking that am not in the right place to tell or show how to raise up your child...you're right! we all are raised by different parents groomed or instilled with different teachings or discipline.So,you may decide to use spanking or not to use it at all...but reading this article to end will answers and covers all or some about spanking and also give you more answers and that covers all or some about spanking.

Spanking Stings: I call this statistics or researches below stings because this are it's effect on children...when you use spanking as your only discipline tool,when you use it occasionally or the at the slightest mistake your child made.Research has shown that the more children are spanked, the more likely it is that children will;
engage in antisocial behaviour, such as lying, stealing, cheating, bullying, assaulting a sibling or peers,act aggressively toward others,
develop mental health problems, such as depression and suicidality,
have a less close relationship with their parents.
Spanking being a harsh physical punishment is also associated with increased odds of mood disorders, anxiety disorders, alcohol and drug abuse/dependence, and several personality disorders." studies show that more physical punishment is associated with more aggressiveness.So,occasional use of spanking is not effective and valuable,it will make parenting ugly. 

You Need More Maturity:When it comes to spanking,i know you are trying to put our children on the right path,you are trying to make your children's mind but most you loose our mind?
Parent should understand that it's normal and natural,children will frustrate and get on your nerves.Parents have to accept this,we can't stop them from it only to change them,but you have to keep calm,exercise patience and stay sane to do so.This is maturity! 

You Need To Stay Sane:Though we are humans too,but loosing your temper when they misbehave will only make you a loser,because you will only make things worst.Loosing your temper,you may shout,smack or spank your kid...doing this you are effectively sanctioning their angry response.You are telling them is okay to lose control and be aggressive.When you spank them a lot,you will damage them emotionally and you may turn them into bullies and it will also damage the parent-child relationship and it won't help their future relationship with others as they grow up.

You Need To Apologise At Times:We parent are humans and it's normal and natural that we make this mistake of shouting at them and hitting them.At this moment,we need to clear the air and make up with our kid.Though,it may not be easy...you may think "am the parent and he or she is the kid at fault,so why should i apologise?" being a parent,we need humility in this job,what we do is what our child we that after.Kids are humans,they have emotions too...they deserve to hear the word "i am sorry" it softens the heart, and cleanse the offender of wrong.

 In the mean time feel free to comment or share your thought.

Effective Parenting: Getting Help For Bullying Starts With Discovering The Key Bullying Clues From Your Children

As parents do you want to uncover specific bullying-related behavior that your child may be involved in or observe in others?

As a parent do you want to know how to address bullying?

Do you want to help your child stop or prevent bullying?
If your answer is YES...then this post is for YOU! Join Dr. Joel Haber

Read and enjoy!

By Joel Haber, Ph. D

The following questions are designed to help parents uncover specific bullying-related behavior that their children may be involved in or observe in others. By asking behavior-specific questions designed around the places where your child may be bullied, you can find out the information you need to effectively counter that bullying. You can tailor these questions to your specific situation. Good questions address specific behavior and are not open-ended.

Try to think about the information you want to obtain. Maybe it is a general set of questions about how each part of your child's social life is going. Let's take a school example. Begin addressing the first part of the day when children go to school. If your child goes to school on a bus, you would begin by addressing the specifics on the school bus. If there is a bus ride, it's essential to ask about it because bullying happens when supervision is lean and supervision may be absent on the bus. If the child walks to school, you'll want to find out if anyone greets her or if she ever takes a different path to avoid anyone.

Think about those places where your child may be with less supervision and ask questions about those areas: recess (playing a game or sports), lunch, bus, hallway, locker room, bathroom, in line, walking to and from school, or waiting for pickup. By thinking about those places where your child may be away from supervision, you can begin to think how to specifically address those areas. These may be better questions to ask your child to get specific answers and information that may alert you to a problem:

• Who do you talk to on the bus?
• Do you sit with the same children every day?
• Has this child ever sat with someone else?
• Who did you sit with that day?
• Have you ever sat alone?
• What would you do if that child were out sick, or who would you sit with if you had to find another child?
• Does anyone ever get picked on, called names, or teased during the bus ride?
• Does this ever happen to you?
• Do you ever do this to someone else?
• Does anyone ever get knocked out of his seat on the bus?
• Has this ever happened to you?
• Do kids act like there are assigned seats and has anyone ever challenged that?
• Has anyone ever been mad at you for sitting in his or her seat?
• What did that person do to you?
• Who do you eat lunch with every day?
• Does it ever happen that your group isn't there, and if so, who would you join for lunch?
• Do you have someone to play with during recess?
• Who did you play with at recess today?
• Do you notice if anyone is being teased, picked on, or left out at lunch or recess?
• Does anyone ever get left out of a game at recess? Or not have the ball passed to
• him on purpose?
• Does this ever happen to you?
• Who would you tell if it did happen to you? If the child reveals that incidents like this
• do happen to him...
• Do your friends know?
• Have you ever asked them to help you?
• Have you spoken to anyone in school about this?
• What adults do you feel safe with in school?
• What kids do you feel safe with in school?
• Has anyone who has seen this reported it to an adult?
• Does your school have any way that you can report this without feeling like it will make things worse?

The early questions about who he sits with on the bus, who he plays with at recess, etc., are meant to check whether your child has friends around in the places where bullying thrives. A child who has friends has a buffer. If the child is being bullied despite having friends around, these friends may need help understanding how to help.

Asking whether your child has ever witnessed bullying may be easier for your child to answer than if you begin by asking if she's ever been a target. Once she's talking about the subject and has seen that your reaction is compassionate rather than judgmental, she may feel less embarrassed to tell you about her own experiences. The third set of questions establishes how comfortable your child and her peers feel about seeking help from others.

You may discover that she's already told a teacher, or that she didn't know she should. You may discover that she would rather eat mud than "tattle." Your objective during this stage is not to lecture your child or convince her of what she should do, but merely to gather information. Your child may talk freely about some questions and not others.

Be sure to watch your child's facial expressions, tone, and change of emotion when you ask specific questions. Avoidance of some questions or hesitation when answering can alert you to a possible problem. You don't want to bully your child to answer what she doesn't feel comfortable answering, but please take note, and refer back to any question or response that seemed to make your child uncomfortable. It is only

Get Help for Bullying from Dr. Joel Haber: Bullying Expert, Counselor, Speaker and Author

Dr. Joel Haber is a Clinical Psychologist and nationally recognized parenting expert who has dedicated more that 20 years to the prevention of abusive behaviors in children and adults.He is a sought after speaker on the topic of bullying and bullying behavior. And works with families of bullying victims and those who actually do the bullying.

3 Steps To Establish Your Parental Authority

       " In order to make the best parenting or discipline techniques for you ,several factors need to be considered". You want to regain your parental authority...
the parental authority to keep control over your child or family.Click here now!
Warning : Don't buy or use any book,pamphlet or article on the subject discipline or parenting until you've answered the following four questions...
       Do you find it difficult to keep control over your child?
       Do your children obey reasonable parental authority?
       Do you feel like your child is running the family?
       Do you feel unsure of yourself or have the fear of making mistakes in parenting?
   If your answer is "YES" then this article, is for you (Parent who are desperately trying to keep control over their children,but not succeeding.Parent who have the fear of making mistake in parenting).
YOUR PARENTAL PERMISSIVENESS : Now we come to the cause of the loss of Parental Authority. Numerous articles,Journals,Magazines and books lament the decline of firm parental discipline which succor permissiveness.Permissiveness is blamed for drug abuse,violence,vandalism,immorality,acne,the raising of crime rate in the society.By permissiveness i mean that " the parent is afraid to set limit for the child"
                                                                                  " the parent is afraid to say no"
  For the parent who do is, will eventually lost his or her parental power and they will find it difficult to run the family, instead the child does.Even parent who constantly appease a child,giving in to the child's whims and demand, and letting the child push her around for basic psychological reasons, for example;
                    " the fear of making mistake in parenting"
                    " the fear of not loosing the child's love".
                    "worrying about child's behavior"
By doing this the parent has abdicate his or her authority over to the child and i call all this psychological reasons (fear) psychological hang-up.
   For parent to overcome this and to regain their parental power,negative mind,getting professional help and getting more information is required.
NEGATIVE MIND,FEELING AND THINKING : To gain back parental authority, the parent have to be negative about their feelings (fear of making mistake or loosing the child's love). I mean parents should deliberately exaggerate all these fears and worries alone at least for five minute daily this will help to achieve a positive feeling.
GET PROFESSIONAL HELP : Enrolling in a class in assertiveness training in a psychological institute or going  through individual or group therapy with a competent professional person : a psychologist or psychiatrist.
GET MORE INFORMATION : For parent to be firm in discipline, to regain parental authority, instead of fear and worries, they need more information about discipline techniques. They need more than well - meaning advice to " be firm".
This tool will also help you establish your parental authority