4 Helpful Ways To Help Stop Bullying

Stop Bullying

Bullying! Bullying!! Bullying!!!
Do you wanna know how to stop this?
If Yes, then this article is for YOU only.
Make sure you read from start to the end...

Bullying  is always a serious issue, every parent must be fully prepared for it because its a normal and natural occurrence,is part of our nature and get this...it's not our fault or the child's fault,if they get bullied, we should acknowledge this!



Bullying in my own view as just only 3 (three) types,we have;

•  The Physical Bullying
•  The Verbal Bullying and
•  The Cyber Bullying

Both can be done either by an individual(a kid) or a group(a gang of kids). I so much believe that kids who involve in bullying others are troubled ones,they kids who are facing a lot of troubles at home,which they can't handle,some have bottled up a lot of pains from what they've gone through and this have affected their emotions. So in order to express their feelings,share,mingle and to create awareness among their fellows is kinda difficult for them,instead of being positive they go negative with others. This is another parenting issue on is own.

Actions such as,picking on a fellow,demeaning,shoving,pushing etc are done in various places especially in schools and in the neighborhood where no adult sees it...this is what makes bullying a hard issue to tackle. Yet you must tackle it!  

Most parent, do use this Traditional Method to stop bullying,traditional methods such as;

•  Telling Your kids To Never Mind Or Ignore Bullying,
• Fighting Or Hit Back Bullying, and
• Challenging the kid that bullied or their parent.

 Truly this methods do work but it does live a mark in a little kid's life for God knows how long!
  Imagine, a kid who as been trained on how to ignore bullying and not to worry about it...and such kids will keep on going through this pains and hurt from his or her fellow. Or a child who as been trained on how fight back whenever he/she is been bullied. Or you do help your kids fight back and challenge the kid who bullied or their parent...what do you think both kids will become?
What kinda atmosphere do you think you are creating for your kid and yourself?
To me, both kids will arbor pains in themselves,including you...The ignoring bully kid might one day commit suicide when it's too much while The fight back kid, will definitely become a bully too (because of too much aggression in defense whenever been bullied). And for the involving parent,who do challenge the kid that bullied or their parent, this might create a strong lasting enmity between your kid and the other kid even between you parents too!
So,I don't use this methods...will you?

Here Are 4 Helpful Ways To Stop Bullying

• Respond To Your Child's Feelings: If your child is being bullied,let your child know that you do care about their feelings and value their life as well. This alone,will give your child hope and even courage for solution because they have someone they can rely on,someone who they can share what they feel in the inside with...teenagers wants to know that they've being heard and that their feelings matter but this depends on the kind of Parent-Child relationship you've built.This will then bring up the step of what you both will do to stop the bullying.
• Report To The Authorities: Here after responding to your child's feelings, you have to do something...so,go ahead and prove it to them that you care and value them...Take note of caution, don't do this with anger or aggressiveness because it will send a wrong message to your child and it will not help stop the bullying but make it worse!Approaching the Authorities (I mean School authorities or the other parent directly) should be done in a very mature way. The way you approach really matters,when you approach some people while you're angry, you might inflict them with it and this will bring more problem. Try as best as you can to ease you anger and pain on what had happen to your child. Though, is gonna be easy...just keep your sanity!(Responding to your child's feelings and reporting to the authorities are actions you must take) 
• Teach Your kid To Stand Up For Themselves: The reason why most kid get bullied is For Being Different. So,teach them these;

1.  To look naturally confident and self-assured,
2. Have good self-esteem,
3.  How to care about their appearance ( to be well presented) and
4.  How to use eye contact.

 I assure this will help them a lot!

•  Empower them-(Positive Peer Group): To me, this is very helpful when you're not around or far away. It's also a very helpful tool to stop bullying for care givers such as, Teachers,Proprietors etc.At times,when you report to schools authorities about bullying you find out it doesn't stop,don't blame them bullying reports is just too much. In fact,most schools don't permit kids to fight back or defend themselves when bullied.

So,teach or empower them to stop bullying themselves. How you ask?

It's simple,just tell them to work/walk in group...its like having or creating a PRIDE OF TEENAGERS not PRIDE OF LIONS.
Encourage,motivate and challenge them on this group thing...it's gonna be difficult for bullying to occur!
(Teaching your kid/s how to stand up for themselves and empowering them are ways to boost your child self esteem)

Do you have any other ways to help stop bullying?
If you do...please share/post here.

Three Good Answers To Spanking Issues That Borders You

Spanking

When it comes to child discipline is spanking an effective and valuable tool?
Will spanking make our children behave better?
These are some the questions been asked by parents about this form of punishment (spanking) and i believe they are more of this questions.Being a parent make sure you read this article from the start to end, i assure it will give you more insight about spanking.Read this spanking article too.

Imagine this scenario:When a child misbehave, and the parent watch their child and longs to whack the child but didn't due to some "non-spanking" articles or book such parent reads.I would say this is completely wrong and an unrealistic approach...is better to give that child a quick swat on the butt,clear the air and the two of you can start over.As human beings,we all are fallible and because of our fallibility,we do make mistakes or do wrongs.This shows that we are not 100 percent perfect...children being young and naive do make mistakes which makes parents become impatient and lose their temper,this is natural but it would be much better if parent are in control...i mean to be patient when they(children) do wrongs.I want to emphasise here that occasional use of spanking is a very poor and ineffective method of discipline.My position here is far different from that of the parents who use spanking as the only discipline tool to keep their children in line.

Spanking Worries

Your Choice: As a parent you might be thinking that am not in the right place to tell or show how to raise up your child...you're right! we all are raised by different parents groomed or instilled with different teachings or discipline.So,you may decide to use spanking or not to use it at all...but reading this article to end will answers and covers all or some about spanking and also give you more answers and that covers all or some about spanking.

Spanking Stings: I call this statistics or researches below stings because this are it's effect on children...when you use spanking as your only discipline tool,when you use it occasionally or the at the slightest mistake your child made.Research has shown that the more children are spanked, the more likely it is that children will;
engage in antisocial behaviour, such as lying, stealing, cheating, bullying, assaulting a sibling or peers,act aggressively toward others,
develop mental health problems, such as depression and suicidality,
have a less close relationship with their parents.
Spanking being a harsh physical punishment is also associated with increased odds of mood disorders, anxiety disorders, alcohol and drug abuse/dependence, and several personality disorders." studies show that more physical punishment is associated with more aggressiveness.So,occasional use of spanking is not effective and valuable,it will make parenting ugly. 

You Need More Maturity:When it comes to spanking,i know you are trying to put our children on the right path,you are trying to make your children's mind but most you loose our mind?
Parent should understand that it's normal and natural,children will frustrate and get on your nerves.Parents have to accept this,we can't stop them from it only to change them,but you have to keep calm,exercise patience and stay sane to do so.This is maturity! 

You Need To Stay Sane:Though we are humans too,but loosing your temper when they misbehave will only make you a loser,because you will only make things worst.Loosing your temper,you may shout,smack or spank your kid...doing this you are effectively sanctioning their angry response.You are telling them is okay to lose control and be aggressive.When you spank them a lot,you will damage them emotionally and you may turn them into bullies and it will also damage the parent-child relationship and it won't help their future relationship with others as they grow up.

You Need To Apologise At Times:We parent are humans and it's normal and natural that we make this mistake of shouting at them and hitting them.At this moment,we need to clear the air and make up with our kid.Though,it may not be easy...you may think "am the parent and he or she is the kid at fault,so why should i apologise?" being a parent,we need humility in this job,what we do is what our child we that after.Kids are humans,they have emotions too...they deserve to hear the word "i am sorry" it softens the heart, and cleanse the offender of wrong.

 In the mean time feel free to comment or share your thought.

3 Steps To Establish Your Parental Authority

       " In order to make the best parenting or discipline techniques for you ,several factors need to be considered". You want to regain your parental authority...
the parental authority to keep control over your child or family.Click here now!
Warning : Don't buy or use any book,pamphlet or article on the subject discipline or parenting until you've answered the following four questions...
       Do you find it difficult to keep control over your child?
       Do your children obey reasonable parental authority?
       Do you feel like your child is running the family?
       Do you feel unsure of yourself or have the fear of making mistakes in parenting?
   If your answer is "YES" then this article, is for you (Parent who are desperately trying to keep control over their children,but not succeeding.Parent who have the fear of making mistake in parenting).
YOUR PARENTAL PERMISSIVENESS : Now we come to the cause of the loss of Parental Authority. Numerous articles,Journals,Magazines and books lament the decline of firm parental discipline which succor permissiveness.Permissiveness is blamed for drug abuse,violence,vandalism,immorality,acne,the raising of crime rate in the society.By permissiveness i mean that " the parent is afraid to set limit for the child"
                                                                                  " the parent is afraid to say no"
  For the parent who do is, will eventually lost his or her parental power and they will find it difficult to run the family, instead the child does.Even parent who constantly appease a child,giving in to the child's whims and demand, and letting the child push her around for basic psychological reasons, for example;
                    " the fear of making mistake in parenting"
                    " the fear of not loosing the child's love".
                    "worrying about child's behavior"
By doing this the parent has abdicate his or her authority over to the child and i call all this psychological reasons (fear) psychological hang-up.
   For parent to overcome this and to regain their parental power,negative mind,getting professional help and getting more information is required.
NEGATIVE MIND,FEELING AND THINKING : To gain back parental authority, the parent have to be negative about their feelings (fear of making mistake or loosing the child's love). I mean parents should deliberately exaggerate all these fears and worries alone at least for five minute daily this will help to achieve a positive feeling.
GET PROFESSIONAL HELP : Enrolling in a class in assertiveness training in a psychological institute or going  through individual or group therapy with a competent professional person : a psychologist or psychiatrist.
GET MORE INFORMATION : For parent to be firm in discipline, to regain parental authority, instead of fear and worries, they need more information about discipline techniques. They need more than well - meaning advice to " be firm".
This tool will also help you establish your parental authority

How To Parent With Positive Time Out

Time out

Parenting requires patience and constant work to ensure you are doing your best. There are many parenting styles and techniques, this articles suggests using positive time out as a great way of how to parent.Get good styles and techniques here for free!
 
Many parents and teachers say ludicrous things such as "Go to your room (or to the corner) and think about what you did." I'm amazed that many adults don't know the answer when I ask, "Do you know why that is a ludicrous statement?"
They come up with all kinds of responses such as, "The child might be too angry to think about it." "He might fall asleep." "She might not understand what she did wrong." All of these statements are true, but what is ludicrous is the assumption that we can control what a child thinks.
A look of awareness appears on their faces when I ask, "Do you really think you can control what a child thinks?
I go on to ask, "What do you think the child is really thinking about?" The answers range from, "She is probably thinking about how angry at me she is," to "She is thinking about how to avoid getting caught next time" to
"She may be thinking about how to get even with me" to, worst of all, "She may be thinking she is a bad person." None of these thoughts help a child do better in the future.
Most adults do not realize that children are constantly making decisions about themselves, about their world, and based on those decisions, about what to do to survive or to thrive. This is a great example of examining the situation and putting your techniques of how to parent to work.
Negative time out is based on the silly thought that in order to get children to do better, first we have to make them feel worse.
Positive time out is based on the understanding that children "do" better when they "feel" better. Check out these premises for yourself. Do you do better when you feel worse, or when you feel better?
It is fun to ask, "How would you respond if you spouse said to you, 'Go to your room and think about what you just did!'"? Most people laugh and say something such as, "I don't think so." Why do we think negative time out would be effective for children when it wouldn't be effective for us?
Negative time out is certainly not effective if it perpetuates a child's discouraging beliefs about herself and her environment. Nor is it effective if those beliefs increase her need for revenge or rebellion in whatever form it takes.
The Effectiveness of Positive Time Out

On the other hand, positive time out can help children learn many important life skills, such as the importance of taking time to calm down until they can think more clearly and act more thoughtfully.
When human beings are upset, they function from their reptilian brain (the brain stem) where the only options are fight or flight. I joke with people by saying, "When children push your buttons, you react from your reptilian brain, and reptiles eat their young."
Adults are often functioning from their reptilian brain when they send children to time out, and resentment will put children in their reptilian brain. Again the vicious cycle of fight or flight.
Positive time out allows children (and adults) space to calm down until they are again functioning from their rational brain (the cortex)--so they can problem-solve and learn. Positive time out encourages children to form positive beliefs about themselves, their world, and their behavior.
In this state of mind, they can learn from their mistakes and/or problem solve on how to make amends for any hurt or damage their behavior might have caused.
Be Aware of What "Really" Works
When a method has really worked with children, they feel empowered and motivated to improve from an inner desire and locus of control (as opposed to control from others), and they develop skills that will help them solve problems and improve behavior.
Adults can empower children in these ways when they understand a few basic principles of human behavior: Know that you can help your child see light and that your techniques of how to parent will influence your children directly.Get practical ways to parent.

By Dr Jane Nelson