|Steps To Better Parenting|
CREATE A LOVING HOME:
Living in this loveless, selfish world strains family bonds. Married couples may find that the financial and emotional demands of raising children make existing marital problems escalate. For example, differences in opinion between a married couple on how to discipline and reward the children may increase tension between two people who already find it difficult to communicate.
The solution to this are:
- Plan regular time together as a family.
-Keep the romance in your marriage by regularly expressing affection for each other.
-Rather than constantly "finding fault", look for ways each day to praise your spouse.
-Tell your children that you love them; i have found that children are a bit like some flowers, just as these little plants turn towards the sun to receive light and warmth, children look to their parents for love and for reassurance that they are valued members of the family.
TEACH BY EXAMPLE:
Action teach. Words often impart only information, such as, parents may tell their children to be respectful and speak the truth. However, if these same parents scream at each other and tell lies to excuse themselves from inconvenient obligations, they teach that this is how adults should behave. Copying parents is "one of the most powerful ways that children learn"
ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR CHILD'S FEELINGS:
Children want and need the most important person in their lives....their parents, to know how they feel. If parents habitually contradict their children when such feelings are expressed, the children will be less likely to open up to them and may even start to doubt their ability to feel and think for themselves.Children as well as adults are far more likely to accept counsel if they feel that the one offering it truly understand them and the difficulties they face.
EXERCISE YOUR AUTHORITY:
Studies show that "children brought up by loving but authoritative parents- those who are supportive of their children, yet maintain firm limits- excel academically, develop better social skills, feel good about themselves and are happier overall than kids whose parents are either too lenient or excessively harsh"(parent magazine).
All the way from babyhood through their teen years, children will challenge your right to exert authority over them. Children are quick to learn when their parents are afraid to assert their authority and can be relied upon to give in. John Rosemond says..."when it comes to a question of 'who's the boss?' if parents wont run with the ball, children will"
Do not worry that you will alienate your children or crush their spirit if you exercise your authority, you can exercise your authority without becoming a tyrant, by being firm and loving.
DEFINE FAMILY RULES AND ENFORCE THEM PROMPTLY:
Ronald Simons says, "kids fare better with clear rules and firm consequences, without structure, children become self-absorbed, selfish and unhappy..........and they make everyone around them miserable too". Defining reasonable limits for your children's behavior and enforcing those limits takes time, effort and perseverance, and children seem to have a natural urge to test any such boundaries. "Children are small people with their own minds and desires and an inborn tendency to sin.
Therefore, why not make a written short list of the household laws, or rules, that you feel your children must obey, which are less difficult to enforce and most likely to be remembered, next to the rules, write down the consequences for breaking them, make sure the punishment are reasonable and that you are willing to enforce them. If the rules are broken, enforce the consequences quickly, doing so in a calm, firm and consistent manner.
NOTE:if you are angry, wait till you calm down before you administer any discipline.
ESTABLISH AND MAINTAIN ROUTINES:
Routine are a major part of adult life. Work and recreation usually follow set routines. Parents handicap their children if they do not teach them to structure their time and to stick to a schedule. On the other hand, "studies show that having rules and structure makes a child safe, secure and teaches self control and self-reliance"...says Dr Laurence Steinberg.
SEEK GOOD ADVICE:
Everyone seems to have advice on raising children. In the past, new parents relied on their parents' example or on their religious conviction to guide them, but in a number of lands, the family unit is decaying and religion has lost its influence. As a result, many parents turn to professional parenting experts for advice. Some of what these experts say is based on sound principles, and some may be considered contradictory or out-of-date, so its advised to seek the advice on the holy word of God(both Bible and Quran). Therein, you know more about how to raise children. They contain both direct advise and practical examples that can help you become a better parent and pray too.Am not against/discouraging you from visiting professional parenting experts, in fact read their books but what am emphasizing on is that you should be able to listen or receive guides on how raise your child/ren from the one(God) who give them(kids) to you.
I believe this 7 is will help you...in time feel free to comment and share your thoughts