Reasons You Should Not Use Spanking As The Only Discipline Tool As A Parent

Don't Use Spanking Only

  Spanking is a form of punishment, when it comes to child discipline or parenting. By spanking, I mean a few good swats with your hand on the child bottom.

Don't Use Spanking Only

  Some psychiatrists and psychologists have stated it explicitly that no parent should ever spank a child. I think this is nonsense. This comment or reading one of those "Non Spanking books" as hold the grim will power of parents not to spank the misbehaving child. This is completely wrong, it's an unrealistic approach. It's far better for parents to give the child a few quick swats and clear the air. Then the parent and the child can start over again.

       To parents, whom spanking is the only discipline tool they know to keep their children in line, I want to emphasize that spanking is a very poor and ineffective method of teaching a child. If you use a very good discipline strategies, there will be very few times when you are so frustrated that you will have the emotional need to spank.

Reasons You Shouldn't Use Spanking as the only discipline tool:

Since spanking is a form of punishment, it suffers from all psychological drawbacks that go with any form of punishment, that is, it strengthened the particular undesirable behavior you are trying to correct.

Spanking, like other forms of punishment, is useless as the child gets older, say from Ten upwards. Who ever is going to spank a teenager must be a good wrestler( And this cannot prevent the teenager from running away from home after being spanked).

Whenever we spank a child we are teaching the child to hate us, fight us, and avoid us. How can we teach our child if we have taught him to hate us, avoid us?.

Further more, some kind of spanking arouses a deep desire for revenge and retaliation. I can vividly recall the night my father whipped and wrestled with me. I will never forget how I hated him at those times, felt like running away and vowed for revenge. All because I didn't attend an evening church service. I even spit out the words for revenge that night to a man who went back to report to my father, which landed me into the den of hard spanking.

The tragedy is that so many parents simply accept spanking as their main means of discipline. That is truly sad. These parents do not see how ineffective and harmful a constant diet of spanking is to parent-child relationship. They do not realize what a vastly different youngster they would have around and how enormously more satisfying their relationships would be if they used a creative and humanistic discipline strategies or techniques. You will only have few times to spank.

Finally, there is this kind of uncontrollable action that leads you to spank - This kind that results from something other than child misbehaviour. You spanked your child, but afterwards you realized the child didn't deserve it. Perhaps you were having a fight or quarrel, argument or disagreement with some one or maybe all you went through at work and you took it out on your child. When you realized this, Please go to the child, explained what had happened to you and apologize for what you've done, it does wonderful thing for the child.

In the mean time, feel free to comment and share your thoughts

4 Single Parenting Tips For Raising Kids Alone

Single Dad

Single Mum

Parenting is one of the most joyous things that can happen to you in life but to most people, it's the other way round. I believe parenting is a job on is own... So, is a complex skill that needs to be learned, most people have no knowledge or training in this skill and that is what makes it hard for them, most especially parent in an intact family.If most parent in an intact family complains parenting is hard and tough, than single parenting will be much more harder and tougher.If parenting in an intact family is like hiking up a mountain trail, than single parenting is like hiking up that same mountain trail with a fifty-pound pack on your shoulders. It will be a very hard task!

Are you a single parent, who needs guides to become a successful parent?

If Yes, this article is for you.

Talking about SINGLE PARENT... If you are a widower or widow, divorced mother or father or your spouse is away on business a great deal or in service for long periods of time or is suffering from a lengthy illness, you are a SINGLE PARENT.

FREE YOURSELF FROM THIS BELIEVE

 Most people believed that parents from intact homes are the one that do a good job in raising their children and parents from broken homes produce children who have psychological difficulties. You should throw away this believe or idea and free yourself from it... As a single parent you can even do better than parents from intact home.

DEAL WITH PSYCHOLOGICAL STRESS

 The first thing you must do to become a good single parent is to deal with your PSYCHOLOGICAL STRESS. Researchers on psychological stress have concluded that the loss of a spouse through death or divorce is the most stressful event that can happen to us, you have to deal with that over whelming sense of personal loss. You have to take care of the inside you, let out all the pains, suffering, anger, wounds and loneliness, so you will be able to concentrate on your children. Bottling up all this inside you for a long-time may come out in ways that will make you want to hurt others around you, even your children is not left out.

GET EMOTIONAL SUPPORT 

 You may feel inadequate about raising your own child, feel guilty for your spouse death or the death of your marriage(divorce).Feelings like this might succour as a SINGLE PARENT So, including the inside of you that is lonely, hurt, wounded and angry is in desperate need of emotional support.

The wisest thing to do to help let out and overcome these negative feels is to get professional counselling-spend on therapy for yourself, build a new emotional support for yourself by joining groups or forum of single parents, mingling with parents who aren't single will only bring more emotional problems. You can also help yourself too by getting your feelings out in a way you find satisfying, but in a primitive way like; crying, screaming, shouting, beating or hitting the bed with pillow. Etc. Just allow yourself to express and experience the psychological pains you felt in reaction to your loss, will be a great help.

TIME - OUT YOURSELF

 Taking time off or out of parenting as a single parent is another great help. You've got lots of burdens from what you are going through, you feel exhausted and frustrated, in fact your children might even add to it with their own behaviours... You really to calm yourself down, do your grief work this will help you calm down, feel refreshed to do a better parenting job and handling your children's feelings too.

I BELIEVE THESE WILL HELP YOU!

 In the mean time, feel free to comment and share your thoughts

Parent-Child Relationship: How To Building The Special Bond

Many parents believed parenting is a very difficult job most especially single parents, they so much believe in this myth,
"Humans or children are the most difficult to control, lead or change"

Are they right?
 
Truly,children are in experience humans who are bound to make mistakes in every stage of their life from childhood to adulthood and as parent we are to correct them when they make mistakes,we are to educate and instil good morals and ethics into them too.
 
    Get this...i will agree with you on this, children as human are not perfect because when they make mistakes and you correct them, you may find them making the same mistakes again and again, this infuriates!  This makes parenting hard and tough at times...truly,parenting is much harder than anyone says and its far more emotionally charged.So, parenting been emotionally charge requires connecting with your child emotionally, that is building a special bond with your child...have good parent-child relationship.
   This is the surest,easy and best way to know your children's gene,personality and temperament in other to know how to bring them up,to help them find and recognize their strength and individuality.
"Laying down solid parenting roots will help you do a good parenting job"
As parent here are good steps to follow to build a good parent-child relationship;

SPEND MORE TIME WITH THEM
 "60% of abused children in the U.S were the victims of physical,emotional and educational neglect "
As parent, spending more time with your children is very important...the more you know or move close to your child,the higher the chances you have to influence his or her life.While spending time with them you should,
COMMUNICATE(dialogue)WITH THEM
 "single fathers often do not communicate with their children as well as do single mothers,which leads to children of single-parent households being more likely to use marijuana,alcohol and other illicit drugs and to have sex at an earlier age"
"parents in two-parent families spend an average of 2 hours a day interacting with their children compared to only 50 minutes for single -parent families"
As Parent,you should be a good communicator and a listener...reason,talk and dialogue with them, in fact let them know was going on and ask for their views,it will make them feel included and valued.Ask them questions and challenge their ideas in a friendly and pleasant way...this a technique for teaching children how to think for themselves,"Communication means moving what's in your mind easily and directly into the mind of the recipient" - Arch Lustberg
 you have to
TOUCH AND CARE FOR THEM
 "98% of mothers and 90% of fathers hugged their children ages 0 to 2 years of age daily,compared to only 74% of mothers and 50% of fathers who hugged their children ages 10 to 12 years of age daily"
When it comes to relationship, especially parent-child relationship touch plays a critical role, in parent-child relationship touch is the first language we learn, it's a channel of communication and bonding, it's a secret language and weapon for a successful relationship for parents.When it comes to touch, you can express what you feel,impact and interpret emotional content via touch.So, parents shouldn't drop or neglect this skills most especially mothers.Mother's touch are very powerful,touch increase the speed of communication and when it comes to bonding, it makes people feel more connected to you,use it to connect with them and
HUMILITY(PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES)
 Parent-child relationship deals with emotion, as parent we have to connect  with our children so we can impact into them.You need to humble yourself,put yourself in their shoe...see things from their point of view and treat them with respect.Humility and patience is the clue here,don't make your children feel that you are ignoring them,disregarding their feelings,that you don't care if your decision upset them this will make them awkward to deal with.
CLEAR OFF
 We parents are humans and we are not perfect...we may loose our temper when they(children) make mistakes or disobey,make sure you clear off and start afresh again...i mean apologise and let them know why you reacted that way and let the child understand its wrong(dialogue with your child)

I believe this steps will help you parents out there to build the bond you need...

In the mean time, feel free to comment and share your thoughts.

Happy Mother's Day To All Mums Around The World!

 

Happy Mother's Day!

   Motherhood is a tough job, you're on call 24/7, no vacation leave or sick leave, often unappreciated, yet resignation is impossible. Why because motherhood is the greatest job woman can have. No amount of money can ever pay. From the smiles and hugs that you get from your children.Is it easy?



Happy Mothers day to all moms out there.!

 

 
 

This Is To All Mum Around The World

Is It Morally Okay To Teach Your Child About Sex Education?

Dear Readers/Visitors,


This is an e-mail from a parent who needs HELP ...I'd like parents here to help out. Please, give your advice/help.

 Please, i really need your views on this, i don't know if it's morally right to call your little girl or boy and start teaching him or her how to prevent unwanted pregnancy or STD's ? 
 I feel this is not right and I have been finding this very difficult to do. Please help me out!

Parenting Breastfeeding: The Advantages For Both Moms and Babies From Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding Advantage

 As a parent a you complaining that your baby love breastfeeding, are you wondering when to stop breastfeeding or  searching for ways to stop the baby?
If you are one of those parent...read this!

By Munira A 



 There are so many advantages to breastfeeding your baby when he or she enters the world, and you may be surprised to hear that there are also benefits for you as a breastfeeding mother. Of course the greatest benefit is the nutrition a baby gets from breastfeeding. You will be offering your baby the most complete nutrition he or she needs in the first months of their life, and likely the only form of food they will need. You can carry on breastfeeding for many months and continue offering your baby this very complete nutrition, and ensuring that your baby gets all the best food that your baby needs.

Not only will you be offering your baby nutrition, but the first few feedings you give you baby will also give him or her essential colostrum, which is essential to boost immune functions and develop your baby's ability to fight disease. Mother's milk, in the first feedings, is composed of this colostrum and important to allow your baby to stimulate all the natural defenses that need to develop in their body. Your milk contains these defenses, and your baby will get it through breastfeeding, allowing him or her to better fend off infections and diseases as he or she grows.
Also, when you feed your baby, you are spending some very intimate time together, so you will develop a very close bond with your baby during feeding times. You will be close to your child, in a very intimate position as you breastfeed. You and your baby will be able to gaze at each other, and you will hold your baby close to you while you are sharing this moment. The bond you develop will last through your feedings, and as your baby is in your arms.
The benefits to you as a mother are also very great. You will be concerned about what you are eating and about your health while you are breastfeeding your baby, as some things travel through your milk. You will be more prone to eat healthy foods and drink lots of milk yourself, to ensure that you are healthy and providing healthy milk for your baby. You will be active, and concerned about your own well-being in relation to your breast milk, and you will strive to be in very good health. This will be a great boost to your own health as well as your baby's.

For help and guide visit http://centerpregnancy.com

Emotional Baggage - Parenting Blocks Parent Should Demolish For Good Parenting Job

Emotional Baggage Affects Your Parenting Job

Is parenting a difficult job?
Are not doing a good parenting job?
Do you need the parental power to do a good parenting job?
If your answer is YES!
 Then this article is a must read For you from start to finish.
What differentiate a parent that is doing a good parenting job from a parent who doesn't is their Emotional Baggage and what also differentiate a well behaved and disciplined child from another is their emotional baggage.
What is emotional baggage?
It's the feelings and beliefs you have as a result of your past and the things that have happened to
you, which often have a negative effect on your behavior and attitudes.As human we all carry emotional baggage, but it turns out that some of us carry quite a bite more of it than others...is base on how we are brought up, what we've experienced and where we lived.Growing up is filled with all sorts of growing pains, it has been said that "No one escapes childhood unscathed" everyone suffers through terrible,difficult or even painful emotional experiences during childhood,adolescence and young adulthood.
Get this!
Am not writing to judge and ridicule you or your child but to point out the reason why you've not been doing a good parenting job and the mistakes most parents make,which is the cause of failure in parenting.
Let's be honest here...parenting is truly a hard job,we all took this big job when we had these kids and it's going to be a hard work for the rest of our life.Being a parent requires your blood,sweat and tears...it's emotionally charged.
Mind you,despite the hardship many parents are getting it right, many children are doing it right...if they can do it,you can do it too!
Understand this,parenting is also one of the most joyous thing that can happen to you in life.You just have to recognize the big job you are in and seek knowledge...learn and take action!
Parenting as a tough business is not a perfect science that can be mastered, but an act of responsibility, which outcome depends on what variables you put in and the techniques used, this seems to be tough for many parent.
So, what variables or techniques will you put in?
Here is the first,
Let go off your emotional baggage - As parent you have to take good care of the inside you.You have to be positive and disciplined first,you need to have love first!Parenting when you are carrying emotional baggage takes a certain intellect and an ordinate amount of internal strength
from you.You have to let go off past pain and negative feelings to be able to name and model positive behaviors in yourself and also the ones you seek in your child,
"what you have is what you will give" keeping uncontrolled and negative emotions are extremely painful and very debilitating.when a parent cannot manage their emotional baggage,the children are the ones that ultimately suffers,don't pass on the hurt and pains you are experiencing to your child.
Equip yourself - "The more experience or educated parents are,the better equipped they are to handle emotional stressors because they have larger reservoir of emotional intellect to pull from" As parent the more experience and knowledge you have the larger your arsenal for emotional and intellectual superiority over self serving emotional inclinations.So get books,read!
Get expert assistance - As parent maintaining the emotional and mental constancy is necessary.The act of talking about your problems with expert physicians or clergy is one of the most potent solutions to feelings of obscurity or helplessness.So,visit experts.
I believe this steps will help free you for good,
better and convenient parenting job.