3 Steps To Establish Your Parental Authority

       " In order to make the best parenting or discipline techniques for you ,several factors need to be considered". You want to regain your parental authority...
the parental authority to keep control over your child or family.Click here now!
Warning : Don't buy or use any book,pamphlet or article on the subject discipline or parenting until you've answered the following four questions...
       Do you find it difficult to keep control over your child?
       Do your children obey reasonable parental authority?
       Do you feel like your child is running the family?
       Do you feel unsure of yourself or have the fear of making mistakes in parenting?
   If your answer is "YES" then this article, is for you (Parent who are desperately trying to keep control over their children,but not succeeding.Parent who have the fear of making mistake in parenting).
YOUR PARENTAL PERMISSIVENESS : Now we come to the cause of the loss of Parental Authority. Numerous articles,Journals,Magazines and books lament the decline of firm parental discipline which succor permissiveness.Permissiveness is blamed for drug abuse,violence,vandalism,immorality,acne,the raising of crime rate in the society.By permissiveness i mean that " the parent is afraid to set limit for the child"
                                                                                  " the parent is afraid to say no"
  For the parent who do is, will eventually lost his or her parental power and they will find it difficult to run the family, instead the child does.Even parent who constantly appease a child,giving in to the child's whims and demand, and letting the child push her around for basic psychological reasons, for example;
                    " the fear of making mistake in parenting"
                    " the fear of not loosing the child's love".
                    "worrying about child's behavior"
By doing this the parent has abdicate his or her authority over to the child and i call all this psychological reasons (fear) psychological hang-up.
   For parent to overcome this and to regain their parental power,negative mind,getting professional help and getting more information is required.
NEGATIVE MIND,FEELING AND THINKING : To gain back parental authority, the parent have to be negative about their feelings (fear of making mistake or loosing the child's love). I mean parents should deliberately exaggerate all these fears and worries alone at least for five minute daily this will help to achieve a positive feeling.
GET PROFESSIONAL HELP : Enrolling in a class in assertiveness training in a psychological institute or going  through individual or group therapy with a competent professional person : a psychologist or psychiatrist.
GET MORE INFORMATION : For parent to be firm in discipline, to regain parental authority, instead of fear and worries, they need more information about discipline techniques. They need more than well - meaning advice to " be firm".
This tool will also help you establish your parental authority

How To Parent With Positive Time Out

Time out

Parenting requires patience and constant work to ensure you are doing your best. There are many parenting styles and techniques, this articles suggests using positive time out as a great way of how to parent.Get good styles and techniques here for free!
 
Many parents and teachers say ludicrous things such as "Go to your room (or to the corner) and think about what you did." I'm amazed that many adults don't know the answer when I ask, "Do you know why that is a ludicrous statement?"
They come up with all kinds of responses such as, "The child might be too angry to think about it." "He might fall asleep." "She might not understand what she did wrong." All of these statements are true, but what is ludicrous is the assumption that we can control what a child thinks.
A look of awareness appears on their faces when I ask, "Do you really think you can control what a child thinks?
I go on to ask, "What do you think the child is really thinking about?" The answers range from, "She is probably thinking about how angry at me she is," to "She is thinking about how to avoid getting caught next time" to
"She may be thinking about how to get even with me" to, worst of all, "She may be thinking she is a bad person." None of these thoughts help a child do better in the future.
Most adults do not realize that children are constantly making decisions about themselves, about their world, and based on those decisions, about what to do to survive or to thrive. This is a great example of examining the situation and putting your techniques of how to parent to work.
Negative time out is based on the silly thought that in order to get children to do better, first we have to make them feel worse.
Positive time out is based on the understanding that children "do" better when they "feel" better. Check out these premises for yourself. Do you do better when you feel worse, or when you feel better?
It is fun to ask, "How would you respond if you spouse said to you, 'Go to your room and think about what you just did!'"? Most people laugh and say something such as, "I don't think so." Why do we think negative time out would be effective for children when it wouldn't be effective for us?
Negative time out is certainly not effective if it perpetuates a child's discouraging beliefs about herself and her environment. Nor is it effective if those beliefs increase her need for revenge or rebellion in whatever form it takes.
The Effectiveness of Positive Time Out

On the other hand, positive time out can help children learn many important life skills, such as the importance of taking time to calm down until they can think more clearly and act more thoughtfully.
When human beings are upset, they function from their reptilian brain (the brain stem) where the only options are fight or flight. I joke with people by saying, "When children push your buttons, you react from your reptilian brain, and reptiles eat their young."
Adults are often functioning from their reptilian brain when they send children to time out, and resentment will put children in their reptilian brain. Again the vicious cycle of fight or flight.
Positive time out allows children (and adults) space to calm down until they are again functioning from their rational brain (the cortex)--so they can problem-solve and learn. Positive time out encourages children to form positive beliefs about themselves, their world, and their behavior.
In this state of mind, they can learn from their mistakes and/or problem solve on how to make amends for any hurt or damage their behavior might have caused.
Be Aware of What "Really" Works
When a method has really worked with children, they feel empowered and motivated to improve from an inner desire and locus of control (as opposed to control from others), and they develop skills that will help them solve problems and improve behavior.
Adults can empower children in these ways when they understand a few basic principles of human behavior: Know that you can help your child see light and that your techniques of how to parent will influence your children directly.Get practical ways to parent.

By Dr Jane Nelson

Smart Simple Tips For Parenting

Parenting is always a challenging job especially when it's your first child. It is usually a full-time appointment with very little margin for mistakes. It can thus get frustrating at times. According to Anthony Robins communication determines the quality of our lives. Thus, communication can play a vital role in parenting as well.Get more tips here!

Healthy communication with your child can make the task of parenting very easy. The more you communicate, the better work around you will be able to find.
"Communication works for those who work at it." - John Powell.
Here are some simple steps that can help you raise your child easily and will definitely be useful for parenting:
Quality Time is Key for any relationship...
Time is the most precious thing you can give to some one. Your child is the best candidate for your quality time. Try and find some time every day to spend with your child. This will blossom and strengthen the relation ship with your child. Be keenly aware of your kid and about his/her habits, likes and dislikes. You can learn that by spending time with him. Enjoy every moment with your kid and make him/her enjoy it too. You can do that by playing games, going for walks and most importantly talking with your child. This time will give birth to little memories that will be cherished by your child with his age.
Discipline is Important, But...
Be Firm to discipline your child but don't be cruel in this process. Shouting or Scolding can get you no where, so if your kid makes a mistake explain him gently. Forgiveness and letting go is a healthy practice while training kids. Little warnings can also be good at times but giving hard punishments for small mistakes can only do worse.
You have to be very tactful while dealing with your kid. An Online Parenting Class can help you learn these tactics.
You can be the best Mentor, only if...
Last but not the least is to be your kid's mentor. The best mantra for good parenting is to pursue what you preach. For instance if you want your child to read books, you should be the first one for adopting this habit. This will make your child proud of you. It will also be great while training your child.
Get more tips here for free!


       
    By Jeff Erick

All About Child Discipline

1. All about discipline: The # 1 guide ever in here for you.  :According to my latest research, there are millions of books, pamphlets and articles on the subject of child discipline. There are lots of books and articles out there on this particular topic (discipline) with different kinds of name, such as “BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION", “WAYS TO DISCIPLINE A CHILD”, “ALL ABOUT PARENTING” or some approach that says, “THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILD”. That’s why this article is different from any other and i enthusiastically recommend it to every parent.                                          

2. Understand what discipline is? : Understanding the true nature of discipline. I ask, what is discipline? Discipline is teaching, it’s the process of teaching that goes on all the time. When we discipline our children, we are teaching them two things that I want you to understand well :(i) To avoid undesirable behavior and (ii)To use desirable behavior, these are the two things, and very few people see this clearly. Agree with me that discipline is teaching? Yes it is.                                                                                                                                     I will this medium to tell you that in discipline it is wrong to use one approach to discipline a child or children. Remember “that your child or any other child is truly unique, born with a combination of genes and a biological temperament different from those of any other child in your family, or indeed any child anywhere”. So, using one approach will not work at all time with a child or all children, you must have a tailor-made approach to fit the uniqueness of a child or any child. That’s the reason why discipline is teaching.      

 3.What you should know on/about discipline:  Firstly, it is important to take the age of the child into consideration or account, because has they grow their ,character, thinking ability and every thing about them change or move up with their growth. Am sure, you do not teach desirable behavior to a two-year-old or three-year-old in the same way you teach an eight-year-old. Secondly, this is on you (the parent) feeling comfortable on the way you’re handling problems with your children. What i mean is, you must feel comfortable with the way you‘re handling situation or problems when it comes to discipline or parenting a child or children. It must suit you. Lastly, have explain this before, but I will put more light on it, this is for the parents who do feel comfortable with one approach when it comes to discipline. A word from an expert says “A particular approach works best when dealing with a specific situation”, but will it work when dealing with another situation entirely? Definitely not. You ask why?, okay, what will work for parent Smith might not work for parent Anderson, because of his own personality or the way his parent raised him and the discipline or approach that works on Peter might not work on Johnson, because of their genes and biological temperament.So, I repeat “using one approach will not work at all time, when it comes to discipline”. I believe a new approach to discipline or parenting is needed, and this article will provide it in the following ways.                                                                                                                                                                (i) This article will teach or show you different kinds of approach to discipline and how to use these different strategies.                                                                                                                                                          (ii)How to discipline your child from infancy from infancy to adulthood and                                                                                                                                                           (iii) How to find the right strategy or approach that will suit you comfortably.Great guides for you here..

The Effects Of Punishment In Discipline

  Although,parents do try to use good discipline strategies,but the problem is,most parent try to deal with child  misbehavior by the use of punishment only. They don't know how to handle child misbehavior, some take discipline for punishment.
   So far, we have talked about discipline, which is teaching and in my previous articles we've talked about good teaching strategies.Get them in here!
   To proceed,parents need to make a clear-cut distinction between discipline and punishment. In this article,we base only on punishment- i mean it's effect on a child.
  Firstly, what is punishment?
  Secondly, when and how do we use punishment in discipline?
  Lastly, what effect or power does it have in child discipline?
What Is Discipline?:It is a very poor and ineffective tool that doesn't teach or motivate a child towards more desirable behavior, it only curb undesirable behavior.            
The Types Of Punishment : Listing out the types, i want parents to analyze, visualize and remember this punishments- i mean how do they feel when it was done to you then?
  Lecturing,
  Scolding,
  Sending the child to his room,
  Taking away the child's privileges and,
  Spanking.
Ask questions like, Does it motivate me to change my negative behavior back then in my childhood?
The Effect Of Punishment : Firstly, Punishment is only an attempt to curb undesirable behavior, it only tells a child what not to do,, it doesn't motivate the child.
Secondly, Parent intends the punishment to make things unpleasant for the child, so that he will change his behavior for better. Unfortunately, it strengthened the very undesirable behavior the parent wants to get rid of!
 Thirdly, Punishment loses it's effectiveness as the child grows older. You find them say somethings like :        " Have done wrong again, i will be punished for this. Well, it doesn't kill any way, am ready for it!"    
  Fourthly, The person who punishes is teaching the child or others to avoid him. How can you impact or influence the child's life positively?
  Lastly, What punishment does produce between parent-child relationship,is resentment,hostility, the desire for revenge or retaliation. It arouses negative feelings between parents and the child and we cannot teach our children a desirable behavior with punishment only. Get more tips here!
  

6 Great Reasons You Should Not Spank A Child In Parenting.

Spanking is a form of punishment, when it comes to child discipline or parenting.By spanking , i mean a few good swats with your hand on the child bottom.
Some psychiatrists and psychologists have stated it explicitly that no parent should ever spank a child. I think this is nonsense.This comment or reading one of those "Non Spanking books" as hold the grim will power of parents not to spank the misbehaving child. This is completely wrong, it's an unrealistic approach.It's far better for parents to give the child a few quick swats and clear the air. Then the parent and the child can start over again.
To parents, whom spanking is the only discipline tool they know to keep their children in line.I want to emphasize that,spanking is a very poor and ineffective method of teaching a child.If you use a very good discipline strategies,Get it here!, there will be very few times when you are so frustrated that you will have the emotional need to spank.
Reasons You Shouldn't Use Spanking as the only discipline tool:Since spanking is a form of punishment,it suffers from all psychological drawbacks that go with any form of punishment,that is,it strengthened the particular undesirable behavior you are trying to correct.
Spanking,like other forms of punishment,is useless as the child gets older,say from Eleven upwards. Who ever is going to spank a teenager must be a good wrestler( And this cannot prevent the teenager from running away from home after been spanked).
Whenever we spank a child we are teaching the child to hate us,fight us, and avoid us. How can we teach our child if we have taught him to hate us, avoid us?.
Further more,some kind of spanking arouses a deep desire for revenge and retaliation. I can vividly recall the night my father whipped and wrestled with me.I will never forget how i hated him at those times,felt like running away and vowed for revenge.All because i didn't attend an evening church service. I even spit out the words for revenge that night to a man who went back to report to my father,which landed me into the den of hard spanking.
The tragedy is that so many parents simply accept spanking as their main means of discipline. That is truly sad. These parents do not see how ineffective and harmful a constant diet of spanking is to parent-child relationship. They do not realize what a vastly different youngster they would have around and how enormously more satisfying their relationships would be if they used a creative and humanistic discipline strategies or techniques. Get it here!. You will only have few times to spank.
Finally,there is this kind of uncontrollable action that leads you to spank- This kind that results from something other than child misbehavior. You spanked your child, but afterward you realized the child didn't deserve it. Perhaps you were having a fight or quarrel,argument or disagreement with some one or maybe all you went through at work and you took it out on your child. When you realized this, Please go to the child,explained what had happened to you and apologize for what you've done, it does wonderful thing for the child.You got more in here!.Check it out!.

Positive Child Guide Rewards 2

   In discipline we are teaching our children two things which are: A desirable behavior and an undesirable behavior.As parent it's our duty to setup a discipline strategy for teaching our children and it should be the one that suits us as well.In the first part of this article "Positive Child Guide Reward 1" i suggested the best and powerful teaching strategy for teaching a child a desirable behavior,which i called " Positive Reward" but is unfortunate that is the one parents use least.Parents do use it,but they do misuse it,they do the exact opposite by given out a positive reward for an undesirable behavior and some parents don't even know how to setup one. Get and setup one here! 
    To proceed,a Positive Child Guide Reward is a setup little or small reward (gift) given to a child at the outcome of every desirable behavior. Here are the question you might have and the answers:
    How can i avoid the mistake of given out a positive reward for an undesirable behavior?
    How do i setup a positive reward for a child and at any age?
Setting up a "Positive Child Guide Rewards": You can setup a positive reward at any age,although the earlier you start,the easier it will be.When we are talking about designing or setting up a positive reward for a child,we are talking about the child's actions not his feelings.
    I want you to understand that,to setup this,you need to make a clear-cut distinction between a child's feelings and actions.What i mean by feelings is the internal states of emotion such as(joy,love,anger,excitement,sadness and fear).This is the child's private world,there is nothing parent can do to change or influence it.When a child,feels sad or excited or fearful or angry,he or she cannot help feeling that way because the child is not responsible for his feeling,they come into his mind unbidden.
    Based on child's actions,these are outward,i mean observable events that are subject to control. A child can stop himself from stealing toys,hitting other children,throwing stones or sand at other children,but when it comes to feelings,a child cannot help feeling angry or sad.
    Although,parents can do little to influence a child's feelings,but they can do a great deal to influence a child's actions.Now,when talking of setting up a positive child guide reward,we are talking of actions not feelings,that is you deal only with actions that are observable.Actions you can see and count,actions you want to change in the child.
                       Positive rewards + on child's actions = Parents desired behavior.
  Rules for setting up a positive child guide rewards: Take this rules,in order to setup these child guide rewards.First,you must set up the positive reward on the child's actions only.

             Secondly,you must set it up on actions you can see and count (Observe).

   Steps: You list out the actions you want him to keep on doing,

               Actions you want him to do less of and,

              Actions you want him to do more of.

       "When an action is followed by a positive reward,it will be strengthened and repeated"
      This positive reward is based upon "Actions" and "Consequences",positive consequences strengthened the actions and build them into strong and lasting behavioral habits.
Kinds of positive rewards: Emotional Rewards - This rewards is in form of praises, kisses, hugs or other verbal and physical demonstration of affection.Parents should use this kind of rewards when the child is very young,it will do must of the job.
                                            Gift item Rewards - This reward is such as;Some candy,a trip to the ice cream store,a chance to watch TV show,an opportunity to spend an hour with you doing what he wants,an opportunity to stay up a half hour later at night,being awarded points on a chart,which will enable him to earn something he particularly wants.
     I assure that this teaching strategy "Positive Child Guide Rewards" is very effective when used for teaching a child a desirable behavior.Just reward them a little until it becomes part of them.
     Remember " The days that make us happy,make us wise".Get more teaching strategy here!

Positive Child Guide Rewards 1

 In my previous articles, I pointed out that discipline is "TEACHING"-a continuous teaching and in order to lay solid foundation of discipline, you must set up an emotional teaching strategy to teach your child a desirable behavior, which is "RAPPORT"-a mutual liking and respect, good vibes between parent and children or a child. Now we come to discipline it's self.
        What are the discipline strategies for teaching your child a desirable behavior? Get them here now!
    In my opinion, here is the discipline strategy for teaching your child a desirable behavior. It’s the best and powerful teaching strategy but is unfortunate that is the one parent use least.
The Positive Child Guide Reward: A positive child guide reward is a set up little or small reward (gift) given to a child at the outcome of every desirable behavior. Mind you, this positive rewards shouldn't be given in one huge amount when ever a child behaves well or at the outcome of every desirable behavior.It should be in small amount until the desirable behavior becomes part of the child.Got the tips? Although parents do use this positive rewards strategy, but they do misuse it, they do the exact opposite. Millions of parents do make the mistake of given out the rewards for undesirable.
        For example, when a child is behaving well, doing things the parent would like, doing good things to please the parent-what happens next?
           Is the child rewarded with a positive reward?
           Is the child given a word of appreciation or praise?
           Is the child given a hug? Or they do the exact by ignoring the child, saying nothing and taking those desirable behaviors for granted.
        Now, what does the parent mean? I mean, what do they mean exactly by showing this negative attitude towards the child's good behavior?
        That is they don't want the child's desirable behaviors and they are teaching the child to stop those good characters. Although, parents do take this negative attitudes as a punishment, but to the child that's a reward. Instead behaving well, the child act's up and goes negative too.
         Now the question you might have and the answers:
               How am I going to avoid these mistakes that other parents are making?
       Some parents would think and say now: "But my child is older-what will I do now?”
          Don't worry. Get it here, in the next article: Positive Child Guide Rewards 2

Parenting Guide: The Solid Foundation Of Discipline Parent Should Know And Use (Rapport)

Laying a Solid Foundation For Discipline

    You will agree with me that discipline is teaching.It's a continuous teaching that goes on all the time.

An expert says "The teaching of discipline has a firm scientific foundation" so, to discipline or parent your child you need to lay a solid foundation of discipline,that is how to discipline.This particular article seeks to give answers to your problems on discipline or parenting a child and that's why this article is different from any other and i enthusiastically recommend it to all parent.

  The experts,have learned from many experiments on how to teach either almost anything (human or Animal),my point is from different experiment,they know which teaching method work and which do not.So,"the teaching of discipline has a firm scientific foundation",says an expert,that is establishing a solid foundation of discipline.

   Now,the question is;(i) What is the solid foundation of discipline.

                                 (ii) How do i set up a solid foundation of discipline.

                                 (iii) How shall we go about teaching our children desirable and undesirable behavior.

Please, get this desirable behaviors are such as playing cooperatively with other children,doing required school work and home chores,obeying reasonable parent request .etc. and undesirable behaviors are such as stealing and disrupting a class,hitting or fighting other children,refusing to obey parent .etc.

Great step to lay a solid foundation of discipline : Remember we are dealing with human (child or children),getting answers to the 1st and 2nd question,will definitely give us an answer to the 3rd question."How shall we go about teaching our children desirable and undesirable behavior.   

    Now let's consider a class teacher instructing her class at the beginning of the school year.What does she  need to do first to do a good job of teaching a pupil ? her first responsibility is to lay an emotional foundation by set up a good rapport,i mean a mutual liking and respect,good "vibes" between the teacher and her class.

     Even,when a psychologist is doing a therapy with a child,it is also important to establish rapport before beginning a psychological therapy or test.The same holds true for a parent attempting to teach positive discipline to a child.Good rapport is the emotional foundation of all discipline or teaching a child desirable and undesirable behavior.

               
Good vibes + mutual liking and respect = Rapport the foundation of discipline                

In piratical terms and reality, the problems of discipline a child begins when the youngster develop to a toddler. Parent are expected to set up a solid rapport when the child is till a baby. Then, you feel,cuddled,played with your child, you even sang to your child, and bathed your child and these have made you much-loved person in your baby’s eye. Your child wants to please you and has the child becomes a toddler, you teach him desirable and undesirable behaviors, this is when you have a huge deposit of rapport to draw upon.

   But, from toddler-hood on, many parent make a critical mistakes, they neglect the task of continuing to build rapport with their child. They totally ignore the importance of reestablishing rapport at each and every steps of the child development, which is totally wrong. A word says “The days that make us happy, make us wise”. It is very crucial for parent to spend part of their time with their children simply enjoying together. Nothing more!