4 Helpful Ways To Help Stop Bullying

Stop Bullying

Bullying! Bullying!! Bullying!!!
Do you wanna know how to stop this?
If Yes, then this article is for YOU only.
Make sure you read from start to the end...

Bullying  is always a serious issue, every parent must be fully prepared for it because its a normal and natural occurrence,is part of our nature and get this...it's not our fault or the child's fault,if they get bullied, we should acknowledge this!



Bullying in my own view as just only 3 (three) types,we have;

•  The Physical Bullying
•  The Verbal Bullying and
•  The Cyber Bullying

Both can be done either by an individual(a kid) or a group(a gang of kids). I so much believe that kids who involve in bullying others are troubled ones,they kids who are facing a lot of troubles at home,which they can't handle,some have bottled up a lot of pains from what they've gone through and this have affected their emotions. So in order to express their feelings,share,mingle and to create awareness among their fellows is kinda difficult for them,instead of being positive they go negative with others. This is another parenting issue on is own.

Actions such as,picking on a fellow,demeaning,shoving,pushing etc are done in various places especially in schools and in the neighborhood where no adult sees it...this is what makes bullying a hard issue to tackle. Yet you must tackle it!  

Most parent, do use this Traditional Method to stop bullying,traditional methods such as;

•  Telling Your kids To Never Mind Or Ignore Bullying,
• Fighting Or Hit Back Bullying, and
• Challenging the kid that bullied or their parent.

 Truly this methods do work but it does live a mark in a little kid's life for God knows how long!
  Imagine, a kid who as been trained on how to ignore bullying and not to worry about it...and such kids will keep on going through this pains and hurt from his or her fellow. Or a child who as been trained on how fight back whenever he/she is been bullied. Or you do help your kids fight back and challenge the kid who bullied or their parent...what do you think both kids will become?
What kinda atmosphere do you think you are creating for your kid and yourself?
To me, both kids will arbor pains in themselves,including you...The ignoring bully kid might one day commit suicide when it's too much while The fight back kid, will definitely become a bully too (because of too much aggression in defense whenever been bullied). And for the involving parent,who do challenge the kid that bullied or their parent, this might create a strong lasting enmity between your kid and the other kid even between you parents too!
So,I don't use this methods...will you?

Here Are 4 Helpful Ways To Stop Bullying

• Respond To Your Child's Feelings: If your child is being bullied,let your child know that you do care about their feelings and value their life as well. This alone,will give your child hope and even courage for solution because they have someone they can rely on,someone who they can share what they feel in the inside with...teenagers wants to know that they've being heard and that their feelings matter but this depends on the kind of Parent-Child relationship you've built.This will then bring up the step of what you both will do to stop the bullying.
• Report To The Authorities: Here after responding to your child's feelings, you have to do something...so,go ahead and prove it to them that you care and value them...Take note of caution, don't do this with anger or aggressiveness because it will send a wrong message to your child and it will not help stop the bullying but make it worse!Approaching the Authorities (I mean School authorities or the other parent directly) should be done in a very mature way. The way you approach really matters,when you approach some people while you're angry, you might inflict them with it and this will bring more problem. Try as best as you can to ease you anger and pain on what had happen to your child. Though, is gonna be easy...just keep your sanity!(Responding to your child's feelings and reporting to the authorities are actions you must take) 
• Teach Your kid To Stand Up For Themselves: The reason why most kid get bullied is For Being Different. So,teach them these;

1.  To look naturally confident and self-assured,
2. Have good self-esteem,
3.  How to care about their appearance ( to be well presented) and
4.  How to use eye contact.

 I assure this will help them a lot!

•  Empower them-(Positive Peer Group): To me, this is very helpful when you're not around or far away. It's also a very helpful tool to stop bullying for care givers such as, Teachers,Proprietors etc.At times,when you report to schools authorities about bullying you find out it doesn't stop,don't blame them bullying reports is just too much. In fact,most schools don't permit kids to fight back or defend themselves when bullied.

So,teach or empower them to stop bullying themselves. How you ask?

It's simple,just tell them to work/walk in group...its like having or creating a PRIDE OF TEENAGERS not PRIDE OF LIONS.
Encourage,motivate and challenge them on this group thing...it's gonna be difficult for bullying to occur!
(Teaching your kid/s how to stand up for themselves and empowering them are ways to boost your child self esteem)

Do you have any other ways to help stop bullying?
If you do...please share/post here.

Stages Where Patience And Perseverance Must Be Exercised In Parenting

Stages You Need Patience

"Patience is BITTER,but it's fruit is SWEET" - Aristotle. Parenting requires you to persevere and have patients which is kind of bitter to do a SUCCESSFUL PARENTING JOB which will be sweetest at the end.Going through child rearing duti"es and responsibilities right from childbirth and training them through each development stage could be so hectic that most parent lose their patience and perseverance which are very necessary. As a parent,when you lose yours,your child looses his or hers too... then it becomes a war in this parenting field. This article lay more emphasis on these questions such as;
What is Patience? 
What is Perseverance? 
In what ways do parent make this mistake often? How do we exercise and also help how to children to exercise them too? 
What is PATIENCE? 
Patience is the capacity or ability to endure something tedious such as provocation,annoyance,pains and misfortunes without complaint but with calm and strength.
What is PERSEVERANCE?
Perseverance is that quality of continuing in something even if it is difficult. It is having this tenacious mindset of not giving up. Looking at this definition, I feel both words are interwoven a bit. But they are not the same,yet very much alike... especially when it comes to parenting. As a parent, try to remember when you were pregnant with your baby. You and your partner waited patiently for the appointed time. You waited patiently for the fetus to form in the womb,you waited and allowed the baby to grow properly in the womb,you also waited patiently for the expected day of delivery.
Why do you preserved,endured and waited with such patience?
 Because you don't want to have a premature or Mal-adjusted baby. Right?
But after delivery, the sweetness of our patients and perseverance do feel our heart that we never thought and even choose to forget how many months or years we've waited. This I'd say is the first stage we all do PASS when it comes to patience and perseverance in parenting. As a parent, do you exercise patience and persevere as your child totters towards maturity? Dear parent, for you to be successful in this parenting job you are in, PATIENCE and PERSEVERANCE had to be CONSIDERED. So,adding more effort to the kind of patience and perseverance we have earlier when we are trying to have the baby must be pursued. As our child totters towards maturity there are lots of duties of child-rearing but am sure most parents can relate to some such as; Learning to walk,toilet training,trying that first set of shoes,learning to read or home schooling and much more,exercising patience and perseverance will take you through all this.
In what ways do parent make this mistake often?
How do we exercise and also help our children to exercise them too?
Truly child training must begin early but we have to be careful,most parent are known to hurry and get so impatient with their child 's development emotionally, physically, intellectually, spiritually and socially. Most children, whose parent didn't exercise patience in their up bringing may seems to cope but somewhere,somehow, they will suffer some serious setbacks.

1. PHYSICAL,EMOTIONAL,INTELLECTUAL AND SOCIAL: Patience and perseverance in children's physical,emotional,intellectual and social growth must also be considered as they develop. As a parent you must carefully study your kid to know what approach is best, cherish them,teach and correct them along these lines of development, your teaching and training have to be relevant to their age and developmental stage. There are parents who are known to rush teachings and disciplines on their children so they can act mature and well discipline quickly using means such as scolding,spanking and other kind of punishment all in the name of discipline. Inserting teachings,instructions and disciplines into children takes time,they may adapt to some quickly but because of their fallible and naive nature you will find them making the same mistake over and over,after repeated corrections,this could be so frustrating but here is where patience and perseverance is needed... this will make you an ideal teacher, they may learn from you,learn on their own or from people around them,just humble yourself,love and honor them because they human too,don't seek to control them and try not to lose it! They are also parents who are known to rush their children through schools(even cutting corners sometimes) so they can get to higher institutions quickly, "this often has negative consequences" says an expert educationist. Proof of this lies in the disturbing number of underage undergraduates in tertiary institutions who continue to fall prey to all kinds of evil influences and frustrating challenges because they are neither mentally nor emotionally mature enough to deal with experiences they are being expose to.
2. SPIRITUAL: Patience and perseverance is also necessary in the spiritual development of children. On this aspect, parents shouldn't attempt to intimidate or force them to be religious,because it will not last,teaching your child to build relationship with God has to be patiently nurtured, not forcefully imposed. Some children do feel excessively pressurized and over sermon by their parents may even choose to dare their impatient parents by doing exactly what will annoy them and some will only pretend to be what you want them to be.So as a parent you should patiently guide and teach your child to his or her own personal commitment to God,praying ceaselessly for them (God's intervention) will help a lot!

      In the mean time feel free to make or give comment on this issue...

Three Good Answers To Spanking Issues That Borders You

Spanking

When it comes to child discipline is spanking an effective and valuable tool?
Will spanking make our children behave better?
These are some the questions been asked by parents about this form of punishment (spanking) and i believe they are more of this questions.Being a parent make sure you read this article from the start to end, i assure it will give you more insight about spanking.Read this spanking article too.

Imagine this scenario:When a child misbehave, and the parent watch their child and longs to whack the child but didn't due to some "non-spanking" articles or book such parent reads.I would say this is completely wrong and an unrealistic approach...is better to give that child a quick swat on the butt,clear the air and the two of you can start over.As human beings,we all are fallible and because of our fallibility,we do make mistakes or do wrongs.This shows that we are not 100 percent perfect...children being young and naive do make mistakes which makes parents become impatient and lose their temper,this is natural but it would be much better if parent are in control...i mean to be patient when they(children) do wrongs.I want to emphasise here that occasional use of spanking is a very poor and ineffective method of discipline.My position here is far different from that of the parents who use spanking as the only discipline tool to keep their children in line.

Spanking Worries

Your Choice: As a parent you might be thinking that am not in the right place to tell or show how to raise up your child...you're right! we all are raised by different parents groomed or instilled with different teachings or discipline.So,you may decide to use spanking or not to use it at all...but reading this article to end will answers and covers all or some about spanking and also give you more answers and that covers all or some about spanking.

Spanking Stings: I call this statistics or researches below stings because this are it's effect on children...when you use spanking as your only discipline tool,when you use it occasionally or the at the slightest mistake your child made.Research has shown that the more children are spanked, the more likely it is that children will;
engage in antisocial behaviour, such as lying, stealing, cheating, bullying, assaulting a sibling or peers,act aggressively toward others,
develop mental health problems, such as depression and suicidality,
have a less close relationship with their parents.
Spanking being a harsh physical punishment is also associated with increased odds of mood disorders, anxiety disorders, alcohol and drug abuse/dependence, and several personality disorders." studies show that more physical punishment is associated with more aggressiveness.So,occasional use of spanking is not effective and valuable,it will make parenting ugly. 

You Need More Maturity:When it comes to spanking,i know you are trying to put our children on the right path,you are trying to make your children's mind but most you loose our mind?
Parent should understand that it's normal and natural,children will frustrate and get on your nerves.Parents have to accept this,we can't stop them from it only to change them,but you have to keep calm,exercise patience and stay sane to do so.This is maturity! 

You Need To Stay Sane:Though we are humans too,but loosing your temper when they misbehave will only make you a loser,because you will only make things worst.Loosing your temper,you may shout,smack or spank your kid...doing this you are effectively sanctioning their angry response.You are telling them is okay to lose control and be aggressive.When you spank them a lot,you will damage them emotionally and you may turn them into bullies and it will also damage the parent-child relationship and it won't help their future relationship with others as they grow up.

You Need To Apologise At Times:We parent are humans and it's normal and natural that we make this mistake of shouting at them and hitting them.At this moment,we need to clear the air and make up with our kid.Though,it may not be easy...you may think "am the parent and he or she is the kid at fault,so why should i apologise?" being a parent,we need humility in this job,what we do is what our child we that after.Kids are humans,they have emotions too...they deserve to hear the word "i am sorry" it softens the heart, and cleanse the offender of wrong.

 In the mean time feel free to comment or share your thought.

Seven Steps To Better Parenting

Steps To Better Parenting

   Parenting is the one of the most important lifetime responsibility a person will ever have, and it's mistakes can have lifelong consequences on both the parent and the child.Though we parent are not perfect,we do or can make mistakes but making a lifelong mistake in this job shouldn't be a choice...so as a parent, this articles is a sure guide...it's the 7 things you must follow or do in this parenting job.It will help you to become a better parent...i assure

CREATE A LOVING HOME:
 Living in this loveless, selfish world strains family bonds. Married couples may find that the financial and emotional demands of raising children make existing marital problems escalate. For example, differences in opinion between a married couple on how to discipline and reward the children may increase tension between two people who already find it difficult to communicate.
The solution to this are:
- Plan regular time together as a family.
-Keep the romance in your marriage by regularly expressing affection for each other.
-Rather than constantly "finding fault", look for ways each day to praise your spouse.
-Tell your children that you love them; i have found that children are a bit like some flowers, just as these little plants turn towards the sun to receive light and warmth, children look to their parents for love and for reassurance that they are valued members of the family.

TEACH BY EXAMPLE:
 Action teach. Words often impart only information, such as, parents may tell their children to be respectful and speak the truth. However, if these same parents scream at each other and tell lies to excuse themselves from inconvenient obligations, they teach that this is how adults should behave. Copying parents is "one of the most powerful ways that children learn"

ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR CHILD'S FEELINGS:
 Children want and need the most important person in their lives....their parents, to know how they feel. If parents habitually contradict their children when such feelings are expressed, the children will be less likely to open up to them and may even start to doubt their ability to feel and think for themselves.Children as well as adults are far more likely to accept counsel if they feel that the one offering it truly understand them and the difficulties they face.

 EXERCISE YOUR AUTHORITY:
 Studies show that "children brought up by loving but authoritative parents- those who are supportive of their children, yet maintain firm limits- excel academically, develop better social skills, feel good about themselves and are happier overall than kids whose parents are either too lenient or excessively harsh"(parent magazine).
All the way from babyhood through their teen years, children will challenge your right to exert authority over them. Children are quick to learn when their parents are afraid to assert their authority and can be relied upon to give in. John Rosemond says..."when it comes to a question of 'who's the boss?' if parents wont run with the ball, children will"
Do not worry that you will alienate your children or crush their spirit if you exercise your authority, you can exercise your authority without becoming a tyrant, by being firm and loving.

DEFINE FAMILY RULES AND ENFORCE THEM PROMPTLY:
 Ronald Simons says, "kids fare better with clear rules and firm consequences, without structure, children become self-absorbed, selfish and unhappy..........and they make everyone around them miserable too". Defining reasonable limits for your children's behavior and enforcing those limits takes time, effort and perseverance, and children seem to have a natural urge to test any such boundaries. "Children are small people with their own minds and desires and an inborn tendency to sin.
Therefore, why not make a written short list of the household laws, or rules, that you feel your children must obey, which are less difficult to enforce and most likely to be remembered, next to the rules, write down the consequences for breaking them, make sure the punishment are reasonable and that you are willing to enforce them. If the rules are broken, enforce the consequences quickly, doing so in a calm, firm and consistent manner.
NOTE:if you are angry, wait till you calm down before you administer any discipline.
 
ESTABLISH AND MAINTAIN ROUTINES:
 Routine are a major part of adult life. Work and recreation usually follow set routines. Parents handicap their children if they do not teach them to structure their time and to stick to a schedule. On the other hand, "studies show that having rules and structure makes a child safe, secure and teaches self control and self-reliance"...says Dr Laurence Steinberg.

 SEEK GOOD ADVICE:
 Everyone seems to have advice on raising children. In the past, new parents relied on their parents' example or on their religious conviction to guide them, but in a number of lands, the family unit is decaying and religion has lost its influence. As a result, many parents turn to professional parenting experts for advice. Some of what these experts say is based on sound principles, and some may be considered contradictory or out-of-date, so its advised to seek the advice on the holy word of God(both Bible and Quran). Therein, you know more about how to raise children. They contain both direct advise and practical examples that can help you become a better parent and pray too.Am not against/discouraging you from visiting professional parenting experts, in fact read their books but what am emphasizing on is that you should be able to listen or receive guides on how raise your child/ren from the one(God) who give them(kids) to you.

I believe this 7  is will help you...in time feel free to comment and share your thoughts

5 Effects Of Punishment In Parenting When Used As The Only Discipline tool

Effect Of Punishment In Parenting

Although,parents do try to use good discipline strategies,but the problem is,most parent try to deal with child misbehaviour by the use of punishment only...use it as the only discipline tool. They don't know how to handle child misbehaviour, some take discipline for punishment.

So far, we have talked about discipline, which is teaching and in my previous articles we've talked about good teaching strategies.

To go ahead, parents need to make a clear-cut distinction between discipline and punishment. In this article, we base only on punishment- I mean it's effect on a child.

Firstly, what is punishment?

Secondly, when and how do we use punishment in discipline?

Lastly, what effect or power does it have in child discipline?

What is punishment?: It is a very poor and ineffective tool that doesn't teach or motivate a child towards more desirable behaviour, it only curb undesirable behaviour.

The types of punishment: Listing out the types, I want parents to analyse, visualise and remember this punishments- I mean how do they feel when it 's done to you then?

Lecturing,
Scolding,
Sending the child to his room,
Taking away the child's privileges and,
Spanking.

Ask questions like, does it motivate me to change my negative behaviour back then in my childhood?

Does it influence that negative act or the misbehaviour?

The Effect Of Punishment: Firstly, punishment only curb undesirable behaviour, it only tells a child what not to do,, it doesn't motivate the child.

Secondly, parent intends the punishment to make things unpleasant for the child, so that he will change his behaviour for better. Unfortunately, it strengthened the very undesirable behaviour the parent wants to get rid of!

Thirdly, punishment loses its effectiveness as the child grows older. You find them say some things like: " Have done wrong again, I will be punish for this. Well, it doesn't kill any way, am ready for it!"

Fourthly, the person who punishes is teaching the child or others to avoid him. How can you impact or influence the child's life positively?

Fifthly, punishment reduces or make the child to lack confidence as they grow up and this differentiate the child from any other in the society.Its like putting the child in a lonely or different world

Lastly, what punishment does produce between parent-child relationship, is resentment, hostility, the wish for revenge or retaliation. It arouses negative feelings between parents and the child and we cannot teach our children a desirable behaviour with punishment only.

Parents need to make a clear-cut distinction between discipline and punishment. In this article,am emphasising that,parent shouldn't use punishment as the main and only discipline tool. 

In the mean time, feel free to comment and share your thoughts

Reasons You Should Not Use Spanking As The Only Discipline Tool As A Parent

Don't Use Spanking Only

  Spanking is a form of punishment, when it comes to child discipline or parenting. By spanking, I mean a few good swats with your hand on the child bottom.

Don't Use Spanking Only

  Some psychiatrists and psychologists have stated it explicitly that no parent should ever spank a child. I think this is nonsense. This comment or reading one of those "Non Spanking books" as hold the grim will power of parents not to spank the misbehaving child. This is completely wrong, it's an unrealistic approach. It's far better for parents to give the child a few quick swats and clear the air. Then the parent and the child can start over again.

       To parents, whom spanking is the only discipline tool they know to keep their children in line, I want to emphasize that spanking is a very poor and ineffective method of teaching a child. If you use a very good discipline strategies, there will be very few times when you are so frustrated that you will have the emotional need to spank.

Reasons You Shouldn't Use Spanking as the only discipline tool:

Since spanking is a form of punishment, it suffers from all psychological drawbacks that go with any form of punishment, that is, it strengthened the particular undesirable behavior you are trying to correct.

Spanking, like other forms of punishment, is useless as the child gets older, say from Ten upwards. Who ever is going to spank a teenager must be a good wrestler( And this cannot prevent the teenager from running away from home after being spanked).

Whenever we spank a child we are teaching the child to hate us, fight us, and avoid us. How can we teach our child if we have taught him to hate us, avoid us?.

Further more, some kind of spanking arouses a deep desire for revenge and retaliation. I can vividly recall the night my father whipped and wrestled with me. I will never forget how I hated him at those times, felt like running away and vowed for revenge. All because I didn't attend an evening church service. I even spit out the words for revenge that night to a man who went back to report to my father, which landed me into the den of hard spanking.

The tragedy is that so many parents simply accept spanking as their main means of discipline. That is truly sad. These parents do not see how ineffective and harmful a constant diet of spanking is to parent-child relationship. They do not realize what a vastly different youngster they would have around and how enormously more satisfying their relationships would be if they used a creative and humanistic discipline strategies or techniques. You will only have few times to spank.

Finally, there is this kind of uncontrollable action that leads you to spank - This kind that results from something other than child misbehaviour. You spanked your child, but afterwards you realized the child didn't deserve it. Perhaps you were having a fight or quarrel, argument or disagreement with some one or maybe all you went through at work and you took it out on your child. When you realized this, Please go to the child, explained what had happened to you and apologize for what you've done, it does wonderful thing for the child.

In the mean time, feel free to comment and share your thoughts

4 Single Parenting Tips For Raising Kids Alone

Single Dad

Single Mum

Parenting is one of the most joyous things that can happen to you in life but to most people, it's the other way round. I believe parenting is a job on is own... So, is a complex skill that needs to be learned, most people have no knowledge or training in this skill and that is what makes it hard for them, most especially parent in an intact family.If most parent in an intact family complains parenting is hard and tough, than single parenting will be much more harder and tougher.If parenting in an intact family is like hiking up a mountain trail, than single parenting is like hiking up that same mountain trail with a fifty-pound pack on your shoulders. It will be a very hard task!

Are you a single parent, who needs guides to become a successful parent?

If Yes, this article is for you.

Talking about SINGLE PARENT... If you are a widower or widow, divorced mother or father or your spouse is away on business a great deal or in service for long periods of time or is suffering from a lengthy illness, you are a SINGLE PARENT.

FREE YOURSELF FROM THIS BELIEVE

 Most people believed that parents from intact homes are the one that do a good job in raising their children and parents from broken homes produce children who have psychological difficulties. You should throw away this believe or idea and free yourself from it... As a single parent you can even do better than parents from intact home.

DEAL WITH PSYCHOLOGICAL STRESS

 The first thing you must do to become a good single parent is to deal with your PSYCHOLOGICAL STRESS. Researchers on psychological stress have concluded that the loss of a spouse through death or divorce is the most stressful event that can happen to us, you have to deal with that over whelming sense of personal loss. You have to take care of the inside you, let out all the pains, suffering, anger, wounds and loneliness, so you will be able to concentrate on your children. Bottling up all this inside you for a long-time may come out in ways that will make you want to hurt others around you, even your children is not left out.

GET EMOTIONAL SUPPORT 

 You may feel inadequate about raising your own child, feel guilty for your spouse death or the death of your marriage(divorce).Feelings like this might succour as a SINGLE PARENT So, including the inside of you that is lonely, hurt, wounded and angry is in desperate need of emotional support.

The wisest thing to do to help let out and overcome these negative feels is to get professional counselling-spend on therapy for yourself, build a new emotional support for yourself by joining groups or forum of single parents, mingling with parents who aren't single will only bring more emotional problems. You can also help yourself too by getting your feelings out in a way you find satisfying, but in a primitive way like; crying, screaming, shouting, beating or hitting the bed with pillow. Etc. Just allow yourself to express and experience the psychological pains you felt in reaction to your loss, will be a great help.

TIME - OUT YOURSELF

 Taking time off or out of parenting as a single parent is another great help. You've got lots of burdens from what you are going through, you feel exhausted and frustrated, in fact your children might even add to it with their own behaviours... You really to calm yourself down, do your grief work this will help you calm down, feel refreshed to do a better parenting job and handling your children's feelings too.

I BELIEVE THESE WILL HELP YOU!

 In the mean time, feel free to comment and share your thoughts

Parent-Child Relationship: How To Building The Special Bond

Many parents believed parenting is a very difficult job most especially single parents, they so much believe in this myth,
"Humans or children are the most difficult to control, lead or change"

Are they right?
 
Truly,children are in experience humans who are bound to make mistakes in every stage of their life from childhood to adulthood and as parent we are to correct them when they make mistakes,we are to educate and instil good morals and ethics into them too.
 
    Get this...i will agree with you on this, children as human are not perfect because when they make mistakes and you correct them, you may find them making the same mistakes again and again, this infuriates!  This makes parenting hard and tough at times...truly,parenting is much harder than anyone says and its far more emotionally charged.So, parenting been emotionally charge requires connecting with your child emotionally, that is building a special bond with your child...have good parent-child relationship.
   This is the surest,easy and best way to know your children's gene,personality and temperament in other to know how to bring them up,to help them find and recognize their strength and individuality.
"Laying down solid parenting roots will help you do a good parenting job"
As parent here are good steps to follow to build a good parent-child relationship;

SPEND MORE TIME WITH THEM
 "60% of abused children in the U.S were the victims of physical,emotional and educational neglect "
As parent, spending more time with your children is very important...the more you know or move close to your child,the higher the chances you have to influence his or her life.While spending time with them you should,
COMMUNICATE(dialogue)WITH THEM
 "single fathers often do not communicate with their children as well as do single mothers,which leads to children of single-parent households being more likely to use marijuana,alcohol and other illicit drugs and to have sex at an earlier age"
"parents in two-parent families spend an average of 2 hours a day interacting with their children compared to only 50 minutes for single -parent families"
As Parent,you should be a good communicator and a listener...reason,talk and dialogue with them, in fact let them know was going on and ask for their views,it will make them feel included and valued.Ask them questions and challenge their ideas in a friendly and pleasant way...this a technique for teaching children how to think for themselves,"Communication means moving what's in your mind easily and directly into the mind of the recipient" - Arch Lustberg
 you have to
TOUCH AND CARE FOR THEM
 "98% of mothers and 90% of fathers hugged their children ages 0 to 2 years of age daily,compared to only 74% of mothers and 50% of fathers who hugged their children ages 10 to 12 years of age daily"
When it comes to relationship, especially parent-child relationship touch plays a critical role, in parent-child relationship touch is the first language we learn, it's a channel of communication and bonding, it's a secret language and weapon for a successful relationship for parents.When it comes to touch, you can express what you feel,impact and interpret emotional content via touch.So, parents shouldn't drop or neglect this skills most especially mothers.Mother's touch are very powerful,touch increase the speed of communication and when it comes to bonding, it makes people feel more connected to you,use it to connect with them and
HUMILITY(PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES)
 Parent-child relationship deals with emotion, as parent we have to connect  with our children so we can impact into them.You need to humble yourself,put yourself in their shoe...see things from their point of view and treat them with respect.Humility and patience is the clue here,don't make your children feel that you are ignoring them,disregarding their feelings,that you don't care if your decision upset them this will make them awkward to deal with.
CLEAR OFF
 We parents are humans and we are not perfect...we may loose our temper when they(children) make mistakes or disobey,make sure you clear off and start afresh again...i mean apologise and let them know why you reacted that way and let the child understand its wrong(dialogue with your child)

I believe this steps will help you parents out there to build the bond you need...

In the mean time, feel free to comment and share your thoughts.

Happy Mother's Day To All Mums Around The World!

 

Happy Mother's Day!

   Motherhood is a tough job, you're on call 24/7, no vacation leave or sick leave, often unappreciated, yet resignation is impossible. Why because motherhood is the greatest job woman can have. No amount of money can ever pay. From the smiles and hugs that you get from your children.Is it easy?



Happy Mothers day to all moms out there.!

 

 
 

This Is To All Mum Around The World

Is It Morally Okay To Teach Your Child About Sex Education?

Dear Readers/Visitors,


This is an e-mail from a parent who needs HELP ...I'd like parents here to help out. Please, give your advice/help.

 Please, i really need your views on this, i don't know if it's morally right to call your little girl or boy and start teaching him or her how to prevent unwanted pregnancy or STD's ? 
 I feel this is not right and I have been finding this very difficult to do. Please help me out!

Parenting Breastfeeding: The Advantages For Both Moms and Babies From Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding Advantage

 As a parent a you complaining that your baby love breastfeeding, are you wondering when to stop breastfeeding or  searching for ways to stop the baby?
If you are one of those parent...read this!

By Munira A 



 There are so many advantages to breastfeeding your baby when he or she enters the world, and you may be surprised to hear that there are also benefits for you as a breastfeeding mother. Of course the greatest benefit is the nutrition a baby gets from breastfeeding. You will be offering your baby the most complete nutrition he or she needs in the first months of their life, and likely the only form of food they will need. You can carry on breastfeeding for many months and continue offering your baby this very complete nutrition, and ensuring that your baby gets all the best food that your baby needs.

Not only will you be offering your baby nutrition, but the first few feedings you give you baby will also give him or her essential colostrum, which is essential to boost immune functions and develop your baby's ability to fight disease. Mother's milk, in the first feedings, is composed of this colostrum and important to allow your baby to stimulate all the natural defenses that need to develop in their body. Your milk contains these defenses, and your baby will get it through breastfeeding, allowing him or her to better fend off infections and diseases as he or she grows.
Also, when you feed your baby, you are spending some very intimate time together, so you will develop a very close bond with your baby during feeding times. You will be close to your child, in a very intimate position as you breastfeed. You and your baby will be able to gaze at each other, and you will hold your baby close to you while you are sharing this moment. The bond you develop will last through your feedings, and as your baby is in your arms.
The benefits to you as a mother are also very great. You will be concerned about what you are eating and about your health while you are breastfeeding your baby, as some things travel through your milk. You will be more prone to eat healthy foods and drink lots of milk yourself, to ensure that you are healthy and providing healthy milk for your baby. You will be active, and concerned about your own well-being in relation to your breast milk, and you will strive to be in very good health. This will be a great boost to your own health as well as your baby's.

For help and guide visit http://centerpregnancy.com

Emotional Baggage - Parenting Blocks Parent Should Demolish For Good Parenting Job

Emotional Baggage Affects Your Parenting Job

Is parenting a difficult job?
Are not doing a good parenting job?
Do you need the parental power to do a good parenting job?
If your answer is YES!
 Then this article is a must read For you from start to finish.
What differentiate a parent that is doing a good parenting job from a parent who doesn't is their Emotional Baggage and what also differentiate a well behaved and disciplined child from another is their emotional baggage.
What is emotional baggage?
It's the feelings and beliefs you have as a result of your past and the things that have happened to
you, which often have a negative effect on your behavior and attitudes.As human we all carry emotional baggage, but it turns out that some of us carry quite a bite more of it than others...is base on how we are brought up, what we've experienced and where we lived.Growing up is filled with all sorts of growing pains, it has been said that "No one escapes childhood unscathed" everyone suffers through terrible,difficult or even painful emotional experiences during childhood,adolescence and young adulthood.
Get this!
Am not writing to judge and ridicule you or your child but to point out the reason why you've not been doing a good parenting job and the mistakes most parents make,which is the cause of failure in parenting.
Let's be honest here...parenting is truly a hard job,we all took this big job when we had these kids and it's going to be a hard work for the rest of our life.Being a parent requires your blood,sweat and tears...it's emotionally charged.
Mind you,despite the hardship many parents are getting it right, many children are doing it right...if they can do it,you can do it too!
Understand this,parenting is also one of the most joyous thing that can happen to you in life.You just have to recognize the big job you are in and seek knowledge...learn and take action!
Parenting as a tough business is not a perfect science that can be mastered, but an act of responsibility, which outcome depends on what variables you put in and the techniques used, this seems to be tough for many parent.
So, what variables or techniques will you put in?
Here is the first,
Let go off your emotional baggage - As parent you have to take good care of the inside you.You have to be positive and disciplined first,you need to have love first!Parenting when you are carrying emotional baggage takes a certain intellect and an ordinate amount of internal strength
from you.You have to let go off past pain and negative feelings to be able to name and model positive behaviors in yourself and also the ones you seek in your child,
"what you have is what you will give" keeping uncontrolled and negative emotions are extremely painful and very debilitating.when a parent cannot manage their emotional baggage,the children are the ones that ultimately suffers,don't pass on the hurt and pains you are experiencing to your child.
Equip yourself - "The more experience or educated parents are,the better equipped they are to handle emotional stressors because they have larger reservoir of emotional intellect to pull from" As parent the more experience and knowledge you have the larger your arsenal for emotional and intellectual superiority over self serving emotional inclinations.So get books,read!
Get expert assistance - As parent maintaining the emotional and mental constancy is necessary.The act of talking about your problems with expert physicians or clergy is one of the most potent solutions to feelings of obscurity or helplessness.So,visit experts.
I believe this steps will help free you for good,
better and convenient parenting job.

Earliest Signs of Pregnancy - The Shocking Truth Parent Should Know

 Are you a ready to be parent or parent that wants to know more about the early pregnant      symptoms that will answer the question, "Am I Pregnant?"

By Alyssa Johansson 

Whether you're planning on a baby or not, there are a few early pregnant symptoms that will answer the question, "Am I Pregnant?" These earliest signs of pregnancy can be easy to spot. If not, you can always take a pregnancy test.
The most common indication that you could possibly be pregnant is a missed period. Keeping track of your menstrual cycles can cut down on all the guess work but, you still may not know for sure. Besides missing a period, there are a few symptoms to look for.
If you have nausea and or vomiting, you may be experiencing one of the earliest signs of pregnancy. While this symptom can add stress & possibly embarrassing moments to your everyday life, it should only last during the first trimester. If you're still experiencing nausea and/or vomiting further into your second and third trimesters you should talk to your doctor about possible medications.
Your changing hormone levels are the main culprit for most of the earliest signs of pregnancy. Breast tenderness or swollen breasts may begin to be a bother. What can you do to relieve pain? The best thing to do is buy a more supportive bra. Keep in mind that your breasts will become larger throughout pregnancy so, buy a larger size to accommodate for this change during your nine months of pregnancy.
The once pleasant smell of a candle or perfume may now seem like toxic gas. Your sensitivity to smell is most likely caused by the rising levels of HCG hormones in your body. Your sense of smell, taste may seem quite strange and unfamiliar because of the sensitivity from the hormones, this is indeed an experience that some mothers will notice when pregnant.
Are you suddenly sleepy all the time? Fatigue is a common sign of pregnancy. While the cause is not entirely known, most signs point to hormones. Remember, your body is creating life. Growing a baby is exhausting work. While you may still have all your normal responsibilities of life it is important to listen to your body. Don't over-exhaust yourself and stress with the daily chores, let your husband and family help out whenever they can to ease the work load.
Due to your bodies rising blood flow, you will need to use the bathroom more often. Frequent urination will be one of the first signs of pregnancy and last until the very end. You may be getting up several times during the night to urinate losing even more sleep.
Many women may not experience any of these symptoms. If you're still wondering, "Am I pregnant?" after reviewing these early pregnant symptoms, a pregnancy test is a relativity easy way to find out or a visit to your doctor.

For Tips, Wives Secrets, Help, Chat and much more about your pregnancy and baby care http://www.pregnancymums.com your ultimate source for preparing pregnancy and health on the Net today.

Step Parenting Guide: When Your Kids Don't Get Along With Their New Stepparent

       Do you know the reason why your child just can't seem to get along with a new stepparent?
       Read this article from a step parenting guru...

By Gerardo Campbell 

When you have a child who just can't seem to get along with a new stepparent, the first thing you should do is to take a step back and look objectively at the entire situation. There are a few questions you should ask yourself in order to address this issue.
The first question is, "Why?" Is it just normal adjustment problems, or is there a deeper issue? A majority of blended families have a difficult time adjusting to a stepparent and their children joining the family. Most of the time you can just try to be respectful of each other and give it time and eventually everything will fall into place. Sometimes it's not that simple. This is when you start to dig a little deeper into the cause of the problem. There are many things that can factor into this, and also several things you can do to help the situation.
First of all, talk to your kids. Ask them what their side of the story is and then listen. You may not get the exact truth but you should be able to get an idea of it. One thing you need to emphasize to them is that you are not trying to replace their other biological parent, and they do not have to dislike their new stepparent to prove their loyalty to the biological parent. Explain to your children how a stepparent is just one more person who is there for them rather than someone competing with them. Assure them you have enough love to give both them and your new spouse at the same time.
Kids are likely to blame the stepparent for the conflict, but don't immediately assume they're wrong. Remember this is just as new to your partner as it is to your kids, so they may not know exactly how to make it work either. A big mistake many new stepparents make is trying to be a buddy to the kids. Although it is helpful when the children like them, it is much more important that they respect them. Your partner is an adult and your kids need to view your partner as an authority figure rather than a friend.
Additionally, you need to make sure your partner sets good boundaries with the stepchildren and sticks to them. Otherwise, the kids are going to walk all over them.
On the other hand, your new partner has to realize they are not their replacement parent and can't walk into their lives commanding respect and giving orders. It is your (the biological parent's) job to discipline your children, not the new stepparent.
Here are a few things to avoid doing that will also help. One major thing is to not involve your kids in your marital problems. No matter how angry or hurt you are, never ever say anything bad about your partner to your child. This applies to both the parent and the new stepparent. Also, the new stepparent should never ask the kids to keep a secret from the other parent. This is just asking for trouble. The new parents also should avoid arguing with the kids. It is okay to disagree, but after you present your side of the issue, drop it. Kids often like to argue because they of course think they're always right. If you can just let them know you disagree and walk away, you could be saving yourself a lot of stress.
If none of these suggestions seem to help, then maybe you have to start asking yourself some very tough questions. Is there any possibility the new stepparent may be sexually abusing your child? You're saying: "Not a chance. I wouldn't be with someone like that." But a lot of times people "like that" hide that part of themselves extremely well. This may not be something your kids will just tell you about. Look for signs. One classic sign is bed-wetting. Other signs include things like falling grades, becoming withdrawn, rapid weight loss or gain, and severe mood swings or violence. If you notice any of these things, immediately get some professional help to find out exactly what is going on. Do not sit back and tell yourself this isn't really what's wrong with your child.
Regardless of whether your child is being abused, you may need some extra help with your family. A good reputable counselor who specializes in blended families could be the answer. Even if it is only adjustment problems you may not be able to fix them on your own. Asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of. However, sitting back and hoping your problems will go away on their own is.
An additional consideration is to address these issues before you and your partner say, "I do." Having conversations with your children regarding their future stepparent can go a long ways in easing the transition after the wedding. The more issues and concerns are addressed, the greater of amount of ease. Despite this advanced work you should still expect problems.
Boundaries, respect, and honesty are what it all boils down to. If you can create a mutual respect between your kids and your spouse, then eventually they will get along. They may never really like each other, but they don't have to. As long as they treat each other with respect you will have a happy home. Or at least a home where there isn't constant fighting.

Learn MORE tips and help to becoming a better stepparent by visiting here http://www.supportforstepdads.com

Three Tips To Become A Better Stepparent

           Becoming a stepparent is a responsibility that should not be taken lightly...

By Gerardo Campbell 

In 2010, the number of blended families exceeded the number of nuclear (traditional) families in the United States. Blended families are now commonplace in our society. One in three Americans is now a stepparent, a stepchild, a step-sibling or some other member of a blended family. More than half of Americans today have been, are now, or will eventually be, in one or more step situations during their lives. Despite the increasing number of blended families, the divorce rate for blended families is well over 60%. Becoming a stepparent is a responsibility that should not be taken lightly. With that said, here are three tips to becoming a better stepparent.
Be Involved. The level of parental involvement is the strongest and most consistent predictor of your stepchild's mental health, adjustment, happiness, and overall well-being. Children with involved parents do better in school, have better self esteem, are less likely to develop emotional problems, and are less likely to take risks or get into trouble. To maintain a high level of involvement in your stepchild's life will probably require you to re-look at your priorities. You will need to find a balance between your needs and that of your children. Stepchildren need your involvement both inside and outside the home. Suggestions:
• School
o Helping with their homework.
o Reading to your child.
o Volunteering at their school.
• Attending their sporting events, musicals, and school plays.
• Take them to see a movie they've wanted to see, their favorite sporting team or a trip to the mall; just make sure it's something they want to do.
• Involvement with outside activities they participate in, like scouting.
• Talking and listening to your child.
Best Selves. When it comes to your stepchildren you may feel like you're invisible, but you can be assured your stepchildren are watching you, what you say and what you do. The most important example you will set is how you treat your spouse (their biological parent). Your marriage must come first. Remember: your blended family is borne out of loss for your stepchildren by either divorce or through the death of the other biological parent. By being a good husband or wife, you are setting an example for your stepchildren in how they will eventually treat their own spouses. Suggestions:
• Be a person of honesty and integrity.
• Allow your stepchildren to be themselves even you don't agree with some of their actions.
• Get help for addictions like drugs, sex or alcohol; take care of yourself.
• Do not speak unfavorably about the absent parent.
• Do not insist your stepchildren call you 'mom' or 'dad.'
• Treat your children and stepchildren equally; no favoritism.
• Accept your stepchild's loyalty to their absent parent.
• Allow your child to speak about their absent parent.
• Do the right thing - even if it hurts.
• Have humility; acknowledge your mistakes and make amends when possible.
United Front. You need to have the support of your spouse. If you don't, all of your efforts as a stepparent will be undermined. With your spouse, develop a joint vision for your child. Picture your children when they are ready to leave home; what kind of person do you want them to be? Remember that their values, character, etc. all stem from your influences as a parent. Identify your parenting style (authoritarian, authoritative or permissive) and discuss how you will complement your styles to effectively parent your children. Disagree with your spouse in private, not in front of your children. Resolve conflicts by focusing on what is best for the child, not which parent has the most power.
As a stepparent, you are commended because you didn't have to become one. Being a successful stepparent is challenging; the role is not clearly defined and will vary from family to family. Father's and Mother's Day may come and go, and you may never be acknowledged for your role. By implementing these three tips, you can be your own cheerleader and recognize the positive difference you're making in the lives of your stepchildren.

Are you a stepparent or considering becoming one? Do you know what is your parenting style? Find out by visiting here, http://supportforstepdads.com/2011/09/stepfathers-style/.

Parenting Guide: Parenting Help for Special Needs Children

 
 By Noah B Brown

Children are always a blessing to their parents but it takes a lot of hard work to raise a happy, healthy and productive child to adulthood. That hard work seems to triple for those who are raising special needs children. It's more than a full-time job and there are days that make it seem like somebody set the clock ahead by several hours! Stop and breathe. There is parenting help available for those raising special needs kids.
Talk To Your Family
Your family can provide much support to you and your child. They can watch your children for a couple of hours to give you a little break and some time for yourself. If they've raised a special needs child, they very well might have parenting help tips to make your life easier.
Your Child's Doctor
A child's physician can be a great asset to those seeking parenting help for their special children. More than likely, he will have a variety of pamphlets and handouts offering advice on a range of child development stages. If you are experiencing a specific problem, he should be able to give you more detailed advice or suggest that you attend parenting classes. Either way, the Pediatrician is an option for advice on raising your child.
Parenting Classes
Many people begin to attend parenting classes as soon as they find out that they are expecting a baby. This is a wonderful idea but it is important that they remember that they will need to attend new classes for each of the child development stages. There are some parenting help facilities that offer parenting classes specifically for those raising special needs kids. For those who are having financial difficulties and would like to attend parenting classes but cannot afford to, there are free ones at many YMCAs, hospitals and local health departments.
Support Groups
Quite a few localities have support groups targeted for people with special needs kids. This is a great venue to obtain parenting help from others in the same situation. A support group will allow you to share your thoughts and feelings with others with similar circumstances. This helps every parent of a special needs child re-energize and cope with the trials and tribulations of life.
Support groups are also a good place to make new friends. You might even find someone in your own neighborhood that you can hang out with, especially if your children share child development stages. This would be a win-win situation as you and your special needs child will both have a new friend.
The Government
Believe it or not; many special needs children can receive financial help from the government. Of course, government aid will depend upon the severity of the child's disability as well as the family's income level. Although this is not technically parenting help, it is helpful for the parent to afford the necessities of raising a special needs child. These programs are worth looking into for your child.
Another option that isn't so much parenting help but is helpful is government health insurance, more commonly known as Medicaid. This is a program for low income families so that they have access to the medical care they need. Let's face it; medical care is very expensive as are health insurance premiums and co-payments. You might be pleasantly surprised to find that not only will your special needs child be covered by Medicaid but the rest of your family might be eligible too. This could truly be a good thing for your household budget and your financial well-being.

Noah Brown is a freelance writer who writes extensively on child parent relationships and offer parenting help to live a healthy, happy family life. She encourages her readers to watch motivating parenting videos which offer good parenting advice and teach kids to be good human beings and be successful.

Effective Parenting: How to Become a Better and an Insightful Parent - Learn How to Strike a Balance As a Child Caregiver?

By Anselm Anyoha

     Am so sure you want to become a better parent to children...Read this and i assure, you will be!

Every parent wants to be the best. This article will help you become a better and a more insightful parent. A well raised child is a win for the family and the society.

Parenting is challenging, especially to those who do not have earlier experience. There are cultural, social and geographical influences to styles of parenting. My experience, growing up in Nigeria, is that children tend to stay closer to families longer, compared to a western culture, like that of United States of America, where kids tend to assume independence at early age.

There are usually two main ways of raising children. One way, is to continuously control and safeguard them, and set cultural acceptable rules and standard of behavior. Parents who adopt this style run every facets of their kids life until way into their late teens, and perhaps into their early adult life.

This method of child nurturing is generational, and evolve from extended parental concern that their newborns are vulnerable to external factors and therefore need protection at all times. As such parents would never let their children venture out on their own until they have earned a certain level of maturity.

The downside to this technique is a tendency for over-parenting. Elements of over-parenting is seen when mothers or fathers wouldn't let their teenage children answer straightforward questions on their own. Excessive intrusion may create conflict between child and caregivers. Children who were excessively sheltered from direct life experience are often unprepared for expanded real life encounter.

The second style, the laissez-faire style, now trending, is for child caregivers to let their children slug to it out on their own, beginning at a very early age. These parents are brazen with their youngsters. You see some elements of laissez-faire parenting style when Infants are compelled to start toilet training at 6 months of age, or when toddlers are expected to prepare their own meals or, allowed to use public toilet without supervision.

The downside to the laissez-faire approach is under-parenting. Children who are left to venture out on their own at a very early age may learn the wrong ways of doing things. Bad behaviors ingrained in childhood may be hard to shake.

The effects of technology on family dynamics is mixed. On one side, because of availability of communication gadgets, members of a family can stay close even when they are physically apart. On the flip side, members of family have begun to be submerged in their own technology world, to the extent that they lose the emotional closeness that once existed within a family.

Strike a balance in your parenting skills

• Introduce your standard early. Child rearing starts early. When one establishes a feeding time, or a nursing time or a sleeping time, that is part of parenting. The child's growing brain is taking all that in, and expects continuation of the same pattern.
• Striking the right tone and balance is the way to go. At a certain point in a child's life, caregivers must let go, so that child can try learned experience and behaviors.
• Do not be rigid in your styles. Flexibility allows the child to experience alternative ways of doing things. Direct experience imparts a stronger impression on children's psyche.
• Each child learns and follows directions differently. Recognize that and adapt to each child's need.
• Give some leeway, but be there when needed. Children want the assurance that parents or other caregivers will be there for them when the need arises.
• Use incentive to your advantage. Be congratulatory when a child shows expected behavior. Everybody repeats behavior that attracts rewards and praise.
• Be reasonable. Development and maturity is biological. Do not push your children beyond what they are biological able to do. It creates frustration and resentment.
• The worst part of parenting is to give a child everything they ask for, and never willing to demand anything in return.

In conclusion

Parental supervision is invaluable in the sense that an experienced child caregiver knows what worked and what didn't work and can inculcate that wisdom into their children.

He is the Author of a new book: Automated Man, Thought Inheritance, And the Cycle of Existence. Check it out at: http://universetheorybook.com/