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4/12/2013

Earliest Signs of Pregnancy - The Shocking Truth Parent Should Know

 Are you a ready to be parent or parent that wants to know more about the early pregnant      symptoms that will answer the question, "Am I Pregnant?"

By Alyssa Johansson 


Whether you're planning on a baby or not, there are a few early pregnant symptoms that will answer the question, "Am I Pregnant?" These earliest signs of pregnancy can be easy to spot. If not, you can always take a pregnancy test.
The most common indication that you could possibly be pregnant is a missed period. Keeping track of your menstrual cycles can cut down on all the guess work but, you still may not know for sure. Besides missing a period, there are a few symptoms to look for.
If you have nausea and or vomiting, you may be experiencing one of the earliest signs of pregnancy. While this symptom can add stress & possibly embarrassing moments to your everyday life, it should only last during the first trimester. If you're still experiencing nausea and/or vomiting further into your second and third trimesters you should talk to your doctor about possible medications.
Your changing hormone levels are the main culprit for most of the earliest signs of pregnancy. Breast tenderness or swollen breasts may begin to be a bother. What can you do to relieve pain? The best thing to do is buy a more supportive bra. Keep in mind that your breasts will become larger throughout pregnancy so, buy a larger size to accommodate for this change during your nine months of pregnancy.
The once pleasant smell of a candle or perfume may now seem like toxic gas. Your sensitivity to smell is most likely caused by the rising levels of HCG hormones in your body. Your sense of smell, taste may seem quite strange and unfamiliar because of the sensitivity from the hormones, this is indeed an experience that some mothers will notice when pregnant.
Are you suddenly sleepy all the time? Fatigue is a common sign of pregnancy. While the cause is not entirely known, most signs point to hormones. Remember, your body is creating life. Growing a baby is exhausting work. While you may still have all your normal responsibilities of life it is important to listen to your body. Don't over-exhaust yourself and stress with the daily chores, let your husband and family help out whenever they can to ease the work load.
Due to your bodies rising blood flow, you will need to use the bathroom more often. Frequent urination will be one of the first signs of pregnancy and last until the very end. You may be getting up several times during the night to urinate losing even more sleep.
Many women may not experience any of these symptoms. If you're still wondering, "Am I pregnant?" after reviewing these early pregnant symptoms, a pregnancy test is a relativity easy way to find out or a visit to your doctor.

For Tips, Wives Secrets, Help, Chat and much more about your pregnancy and baby care http://www.pregnancymums.com your ultimate source for preparing pregnancy and health on the Net today.

Step Parenting Guide: When Your Kids Don't Get Along With Their New Stepparent

       Do you know the reason why your child just can't seem to get along with a new stepparent?
       Read this article from a step parenting guru...

By Gerardo Campbell 


When you have a child who just can't seem to get along with a new stepparent, the first thing you should do is to take a step back and look objectively at the entire situation. There are a few questions you should ask yourself in order to address this issue.
The first question is, "Why?" Is it just normal adjustment problems, or is there a deeper issue? A majority of blended families have a difficult time adjusting to a stepparent and their children joining the family. Most of the time you can just try to be respectful of each other and give it time and eventually everything will fall into place. Sometimes it's not that simple. This is when you start to dig a little deeper into the cause of the problem. There are many things that can factor into this, and also several things you can do to help the situation.
First of all, talk to your kids. Ask them what their side of the story is and then listen. You may not get the exact truth but you should be able to get an idea of it. One thing you need to emphasize to them is that you are not trying to replace their other biological parent, and they do not have to dislike their new stepparent to prove their loyalty to the biological parent. Explain to your children how a stepparent is just one more person who is there for them rather than someone competing with them. Assure them you have enough love to give both them and your new spouse at the same time.
Kids are likely to blame the stepparent for the conflict, but don't immediately assume they're wrong. Remember this is just as new to your partner as it is to your kids, so they may not know exactly how to make it work either. A big mistake many new stepparents make is trying to be a buddy to the kids. Although it is helpful when the children like them, it is much more important that they respect them. Your partner is an adult and your kids need to view your partner as an authority figure rather than a friend.
Additionally, you need to make sure your partner sets good boundaries with the stepchildren and sticks to them. Otherwise, the kids are going to walk all over them.
On the other hand, your new partner has to realize they are not their replacement parent and can't walk into their lives commanding respect and giving orders. It is your (the biological parent's) job to discipline your children, not the new stepparent.
Here are a few things to avoid doing that will also help. One major thing is to not involve your kids in your marital problems. No matter how angry or hurt you are, never ever say anything bad about your partner to your child. This applies to both the parent and the new stepparent. Also, the new stepparent should never ask the kids to keep a secret from the other parent. This is just asking for trouble. The new parents also should avoid arguing with the kids. It is okay to disagree, but after you present your side of the issue, drop it. Kids often like to argue because they of course think they're always right. If you can just let them know you disagree and walk away, you could be saving yourself a lot of stress.
If none of these suggestions seem to help, then maybe you have to start asking yourself some very tough questions. Is there any possibility the new stepparent may be sexually abusing your child? You're saying: "Not a chance. I wouldn't be with someone like that." But a lot of times people "like that" hide that part of themselves extremely well. This may not be something your kids will just tell you about. Look for signs. One classic sign is bed-wetting. Other signs include things like falling grades, becoming withdrawn, rapid weight loss or gain, and severe mood swings or violence. If you notice any of these things, immediately get some professional help to find out exactly what is going on. Do not sit back and tell yourself this isn't really what's wrong with your child.
Regardless of whether your child is being abused, you may need some extra help with your family. A good reputable counselor who specializes in blended families could be the answer. Even if it is only adjustment problems you may not be able to fix them on your own. Asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of. However, sitting back and hoping your problems will go away on their own is.
An additional consideration is to address these issues before you and your partner say, "I do." Having conversations with your children regarding their future stepparent can go a long ways in easing the transition after the wedding. The more issues and concerns are addressed, the greater of amount of ease. Despite this advanced work you should still expect problems.
Boundaries, respect, and honesty are what it all boils down to. If you can create a mutual respect between your kids and your spouse, then eventually they will get along. They may never really like each other, but they don't have to. As long as they treat each other with respect you will have a happy home. Or at least a home where there isn't constant fighting.

Learn MORE tips and help to becoming a better stepparent by visiting here http://www.supportforstepdads.com


Three Tips To Become A Better Stepparent

           Becoming a stepparent is a responsibility that should not be taken lightly...

By Gerardo Campbell 


In 2010, the number of blended families exceeded the number of nuclear (traditional) families in the United States. Blended families are now commonplace in our society. One in three Americans is now a stepparent, a stepchild, a step-sibling or some other member of a blended family. More than half of Americans today have been, are now, or will eventually be, in one or more step situations during their lives. Despite the increasing number of blended families, the divorce rate for blended families is well over 60%. Becoming a stepparent is a responsibility that should not be taken lightly. With that said, here are three tips to becoming a better stepparent.
Be Involved. The level of parental involvement is the strongest and most consistent predictor of your stepchild's mental health, adjustment, happiness, and overall well-being. Children with involved parents do better in school, have better self esteem, are less likely to develop emotional problems, and are less likely to take risks or get into trouble. To maintain a high level of involvement in your stepchild's life will probably require you to re-look at your priorities. You will need to find a balance between your needs and that of your children. Stepchildren need your involvement both inside and outside the home. Suggestions:
• School
o Helping with their homework.
o Reading to your child.
o Volunteering at their school.
• Attending their sporting events, musicals, and school plays.
• Take them to see a movie they've wanted to see, their favorite sporting team or a trip to the mall; just make sure it's something they want to do.
• Involvement with outside activities they participate in, like scouting.
• Talking and listening to your child.
Best Selves. When it comes to your stepchildren you may feel like you're invisible, but you can be assured your stepchildren are watching you, what you say and what you do. The most important example you will set is how you treat your spouse (their biological parent). Your marriage must come first. Remember: your blended family is borne out of loss for your stepchildren by either divorce or through the death of the other biological parent. By being a good husband or wife, you are setting an example for your stepchildren in how they will eventually treat their own spouses. Suggestions:
• Be a person of honesty and integrity.
• Allow your stepchildren to be themselves even you don't agree with some of their actions.
• Get help for addictions like drugs, sex or alcohol; take care of yourself.
• Do not speak unfavorably about the absent parent.
• Do not insist your stepchildren call you 'mom' or 'dad.'
• Treat your children and stepchildren equally; no favoritism.
• Accept your stepchild's loyalty to their absent parent.
• Allow your child to speak about their absent parent.
• Do the right thing - even if it hurts.
• Have humility; acknowledge your mistakes and make amends when possible.
United Front. You need to have the support of your spouse. If you don't, all of your efforts as a stepparent will be undermined. With your spouse, develop a joint vision for your child. Picture your children when they are ready to leave home; what kind of person do you want them to be? Remember that their values, character, etc. all stem from your influences as a parent. Identify your parenting style (authoritarian, authoritative or permissive) and discuss how you will complement your styles to effectively parent your children. Disagree with your spouse in private, not in front of your children. Resolve conflicts by focusing on what is best for the child, not which parent has the most power.
As a stepparent, you are commended because you didn't have to become one. Being a successful stepparent is challenging; the role is not clearly defined and will vary from family to family. Father's and Mother's Day may come and go, and you may never be acknowledged for your role. By implementing these three tips, you can be your own cheerleader and recognize the positive difference you're making in the lives of your stepchildren.
Are you a stepparent or considering becoming one? Do you know what is your parenting style? Find out by visiting here, http://supportforstepdads.com/2011/09/stepfathers-style/.

Parenting Guide: Parenting Help for Special Needs Children

 
 By Noah B Brown

Children are always a blessing to their parents but it takes a lot of hard work to raise a happy, healthy and productive child to adulthood. That hard work seems to triple for those who are raising special needs children. It's more than a full-time job and there are days that make it seem like somebody set the clock ahead by several hours! Stop and breathe. There is parenting help available for those raising special needs kids.
Talk To Your Family
Your family can provide much support to you and your child. They can watch your children for a couple of hours to give you a little break and some time for yourself. If they've raised a special needs child, they very well might have parenting help tips to make your life easier.
Your Child's Doctor
A child's physician can be a great asset to those seeking parenting help for their special children. More than likely, he will have a variety of pamphlets and handouts offering advice on a range of child development stages. If you are experiencing a specific problem, he should be able to give you more detailed advice or suggest that you attend parenting classes. Either way, the Pediatrician is an option for advice on raising your child.
Parenting Classes
Many people begin to attend parenting classes as soon as they find out that they are expecting a baby. This is a wonderful idea but it is important that they remember that they will need to attend new classes for each of the child development stages. There are some parenting help facilities that offer parenting classes specifically for those raising special needs kids. For those who are having financial difficulties and would like to attend parenting classes but cannot afford to, there are free ones at many YMCAs, hospitals and local health departments.
Support Groups
Quite a few localities have support groups targeted for people with special needs kids. This is a great venue to obtain parenting help from others in the same situation. A support group will allow you to share your thoughts and feelings with others with similar circumstances. This helps every parent of a special needs child re-energize and cope with the trials and tribulations of life.
Support groups are also a good place to make new friends. You might even find someone in your own neighborhood that you can hang out with, especially if your children share child development stages. This would be a win-win situation as you and your special needs child will both have a new friend.
The Government
Believe it or not; many special needs children can receive financial help from the government. Of course, government aid will depend upon the severity of the child's disability as well as the family's income level. Although this is not technically parenting help, it is helpful for the parent to afford the necessities of raising a special needs child. These programs are worth looking into for your child.
Another option that isn't so much parenting help but is helpful is government health insurance, more commonly known as Medicaid. This is a program for low income families so that they have access to the medical care they need. Let's face it; medical care is very expensive as are health insurance premiums and co-payments. You might be pleasantly surprised to find that not only will your special needs child be covered by Medicaid but the rest of your family might be eligible too. This could truly be a good thing for your household budget and your financial well-being.
Noah Brown is a freelance writer who writes extensively on child parent relationships and offer parenting help to live a healthy, happy family life. She encourages her readers to watch motivating parenting videos which offer good parenting advice and teach kids to be good human beings and be successful.

4/06/2013

Effective Parenting: How to Become a Better and an Insightful Parent - Learn How to Strike a Balance As a Child Caregiver?



By Anselm Anyoha

     Am so sure you want to become a better parent to children...Read this and i assure, you will be!
Every parent wants to be the best. This article will help you become a better and a more insightful parent. A well raised child is a win for the family and the society.
Parenting is challenging, especially to those who do not have earlier experience. There are cultural, social and geographical influences to styles of parenting. My experience, growing up in Nigeria, is that children tend to stay closer to families longer, compared to a western culture, like that of United States of America, where kids tend to assume independence at early age.
There are usually two main ways of raising children. One way, is to continuously control and safeguard them, and set cultural acceptable rules and standard of behavior. Parents who adopt this style run every facets of their kids life until way into their late teens, and perhaps into their early adult life.
This method of child nurturing is generational, and evolve from extended parental concern that their newborns are vulnerable to external factors and therefore need protection at all times. As such parents would never let their children venture out on their own until they have earned a certain level of maturity.
The downside to this technique is a tendency for over-parenting. Elements of over-parenting is seen when mothers or fathers wouldn't let their teenage children answer straightforward questions on their own. Excessive intrusion may create conflict between child and caregivers. Children who were excessively sheltered from direct life experience are often unprepared for expanded real life encounter.
The second style, the laissez-faire style, now trending, is for child caregivers to let their children slug to it out on their own, beginning at a very early age. These parents are brazen with their youngsters. You see some elements of laissez-faire parenting style when Infants are compelled to start toilet training at 6 months of age, or when toddlers are expected to prepare their own meals or, allowed to use public toilet without supervision.
The downside to the laissez-faire approach is under-parenting. Children who are left to venture out on their own at a very early age may learn the wrong ways of doing things. Bad behaviors ingrained in childhood may be hard to shake.
The effects of technology on family dynamics is mixed. On one side, because of availability of communication gadgets, members of a family can stay close even when they are physically apart. On the flip side, members of family have begun to be submerged in their own technology world, to the extent that they lose the emotional closeness that once existed within a family.
Strike a balance in your parenting skills
  • Introduce your standard early. Child rearing starts early. When one establishes a feeding time, or a nursing time or a sleeping time, that is part of parenting. The child's growing brain is taking all that in, and expects continuation of the same pattern.
  • Striking the right tone and balance is the way to go. At a certain point in a child's life, caregivers must let go, so that child can try learned experience and behaviors.
  • Do not be rigid in your styles. Flexibility allows the child to experience alternative ways of doing things. Direct experience imparts a stronger impression on children's psyche.
  • Each child learns and follows directions differently. Recognize that and adapt to each child's need.
  • Give some leeway, but be there when needed. Children want the assurance that parents or other caregivers will be there for them when the need arises.
  • Use incentive to your advantage. Be congratulatory when a child shows expected behavior. Everybody repeats behavior that attracts rewards and praise.
  • Be reasonable. Development and maturity is biological. Do not push your children beyond what they are biological able to do. It creates frustration and resentment.
  • The worst part of parenting is to give a child everything they ask for, and never willing to demand anything in return.
In conclusion
Parental supervision is invaluable in the sense that an experienced child caregiver knows what worked and what didn't work and can inculcate that wisdom into their children.
He is the Author of a new book: Automated Man, Thought Inheritance, And the Cycle of Existence. Check it out at: http://universetheorybook.com/

4/03/2013

Effective Parenting Guide: How To Choose The Best Private Tutor For Your Child



By Stuart J Adams
For many parents trying to choose the right tutor, it can be a bit like choosing a car if you've never driven one before. You know you want one that's 'good' but it can be a bit confusing knowing how to judge what makes one good or not. Although there's plenty of 'user friendly' advice resources that first time car buyers can find online, finding someone to help you know how to choose the best tutor is a lot more difficult, even though the tutor you choose for your son or your daughter may well be a far more important decision that impacts their future than most others you will have to make. Your child's tutor is after all, not just another teacher; they will be your son or daughters own personal role model.
Why It's So Important To Choose The Right Tutor
Whether our kids are struggling with their confidence or just struggling with everything; parents who know their children well enough know full well, that the attitude they form towards their schoolwork will have the biggest impact on their performance. And the attitude they establish is largely determined by their surroundings.
You know how the class they are in at school has a big impact on how well they perform? A different teacher and a different group of classmates can make a big difference sometimes. Well consider that when we're talking a private one-on-one tutor, the difference here can be even bigger. If you get a tutor who does not understand the way your child learns best, who makes each lesson boring or tedious and does not make learning specifically relevant to your child, then the overall experience will be a negative one.
So if your son or daughter has already established a negative feel towards the areas they need more help, then this is the last thing you want. Get a tutor who has the ability to change the way your child thinks about and feels towards their schoolwork in a positive way however, and the rest will fall into place from there.
Are They A Teacher Or Just A Student?
Just like a first time car buyer might be looking for a car "that goes fast" or that is the right color  many parents who are uncertain what to look for in a tutor make the same common assumptions. The most common one is that a classroom school teacher makes the best tutor. Whilst a classroom teacher certainly would have some of the right experiences and understandings about learning and about classroom curriculum, not all school teachers make good tutors and not all great tutors are school teachers. It's a bit like the confused car owner looking for something safe, who buys a 4WD with the assumption that being a 4WD automatically makes it safer. In may be, but not necessarily. Having a better idea of what personal attributes to look for would put you in a far better position to make the right decision.
Personality - A Good Tutor Is A People Person
The most important personal attribute of any good tutor is the ability to communicate in a way that makes the learner feel motivated, enthusiastic and confident in their ability to master and enjoy whatever challenges come along. In other words, a good tutor must have good people skills, particularly when it comes to making learning fun and interesting for young students.
They must be able to explain complicated concepts in a way that 'makes sense' to their student, and must be able to do so in a way that inspires their student want to engage in what they are learning. No matter what the tutors qualifications, work experience or job title is, if they are not able to do that then they will fail your child.
Whilst many school teacher's and highly qualified professions are great at doing this, we have not found any significant correlation between these personal attributes and any specific qualifications. Instead, we do find significant correlations between these attributes and specific personality traits. For that reason, a good tutoring company will look at a tutors communication style and personality; not just the degrees they hold or the marks they achieved at school or university.
Should I Just Find Someone Privately?
You might be able to find a tutor who works in a 'sole trader' role in your local area. Just as buying a car from a private sale might be a bit cheaper than getting one through a reputable dealer with a warranty, finding someone operating as an individual for cash in hand jobs might be cheaper too, however there is also much less certainty about the reliability of who you're getting.
If you are going to find someone this way, it is still important to find out if they follow the above criteria by asking them what their approach to tuition is specifically. Depending on how much you value legitimacy and legal requirements, you might also wish to make sure that they have passed a working with children check, hold a valid liability insurance policy and that they're willing to provide you with invoices and other legitimate paperwork.
As a general rule, it is always better and more reliable to find a tutor employees by a reputable company. The question that parent's want answered therefore is how to know whether a particular company really does provide a good quality service, or whether they just look good on the surface. The following gives you some guidelines to know what to look for.
How To Differentiate A Good Tutoring Company From A Dud
The first way to tell is to have a look at their recruitment process, by pretending as though you are looking for work with that company as a tutor. Which criteria do they emphasize as being the most important? Do the seem more preoccupied with things that can be quantified on a piece of paper, or attributed that are qualified in a personality?
The second thing is to make sure that the company provides specific training to their tutors, and stipulates that their tutors follow a specified approach. If they don't, then basically all the company is doing is acting as a middleman, whilst sending you out a tutor to do whatever the tutor pleases. This is kind of like buying a car without knowing anything about the car that you're being sold, other than that it's a car that has passed the dealerships standards.
This is actually a common problem you will find among tutoring companies. The reason that they often do not provide specific training or required procedures to their tutors is because quite often, the tutors are sub contractors rather than employees. A company can't really require a sub contractor to follow company rules the same way an employee must. Sub contractors are cheaper to provide work to, which is why many tutoring companies do it this way. For this reason, always ask whether the tutor is an employee or a sub contractor, and if they are an employee; what kind of training to they receive and what kind of standards does the company require them to adhere to? If the company is confident in their own standards, they should have no problem providing you with specific details.
What Standards Are Important For A Tutoring Company
Specific Curriculum: Many tutoring companies have their own curriculum that their tutors are required to follow, irrespective of what areas the student needs specific help with and irrespective of what the student is doing at school during class. For students who are already achieving top marks at class and want to extend their skills, then this approach can be like 'cross training'. For students struggling in particular areas and want to do better in class, this approach tends to be confusing and overwhelm the student.
For this reason, make sure that the company specifies that their tutors take steps to ensure that they find our specifically what your child is doing in class, and follow their classroom curriculum. Make sure they also take steps to find out what your child needs specific help with, and is flexible enough to be able to focus on those areas.
Communication With School: The most effective way of doing this is when the tutor actually takes steps to communicate with the child's teacher(s) at school. If your tutor is able to form a good rapport with your child's school teacher, it is a great way to bridge the gap of communication between the home and the school. It helps the tutor know specifically what is going on in the classroom. If there are particular areas that your child's school teacher knows they need more assistance with that they do not have time for, they can just tell their tutor who can give them the added assistance they really need.
Because this is such a critical part of good tuition, you should not only insist that your child's tutor is willing to communicate with your child's school teacher, but that they are willing to initiate communication.
No Lock In Contracts: If you are not happy with your tutor, you should be under no obligation to continue with them, and only be charged for the lessons you have already had. Any company who wants to charge you up front fees or lock in contracts should be avoided. If the company knows that their employees are great tutors, there should be no need to do this.
Focus On Specific Skills: Ask about what specific skills the company's employees are required to focus on. Do they focus on computer skills as well as no computer skills, or is it only one or the other? Do they focus on specific confidence building strategies, or will they treat your child as an emotionless robot? Do they also provide opportunity to focus on assessment skills, higher order thinking skills and autonomous leaning skills? Do they specifically aim to find out what kind of learning styles your child is strongest in, or do they treat everyone as though they are the same?
Additional Support: A good tutoring company does more than just provide parents with a tutor. A good tutoring company cares about understanding each parents specific concerns, and aims to empower parents to know what they can do to support their children's learning needs. Check the companies website to see if they have a login section for parents, and find out what additional resources and support services they provide for parents specifically, or are they just a middleman?
For more resources and information on choosing the right Tutors Sydney, see the Home Tutoring Sydney website for more details.

Effective Parenting Guide: How To Prepare Your Child For Private Tutoring


By Stuart J Adams

Once you find the right tutor, it is very important to prepare your son or daughter to be in the right frame of mind so that they can get the best out of their tuition. After all, if you're going to go to the effort to make sure you've found the right tutor for them, you might as well take a few simple steps to ensure that they are ready to get the best results that they can.
There is no complicated procedure in place here; it basically comes down to making sure you speak about the idea of getting a tutor in a positive light, as though it were a reward or a special privilege. The first thing to be aware of is to make sure that you only ever speak to your child about the idea of tuition when they are in a positive state of mind. When you can see that they are already in a confident state, then is the best time to discuss the idea to get a great tutor.
Some questions you might try asking to 'warm them up' to the idea might include asking them about which teachers at school they like and don't like. When introducing the idea of a tutor, discuss the idea in a way so that it feels like a special privilege or reward, rather than a chore or a punishment. The ideal situation is where you manage to plant a seed of thought into your son or daughters mind about the excitement of having their own personal helper. If done in the right positive light, your child may even ask you or indicate that they want their own tutor. If the child feels that it is even partly their idea, then they are almost always going to have a much more positive response, and approach tuition with excitement rather than intimidation.
WHAT YOU CAN DO DO DURING THE LESSONS
Irrespective of your son or daughters expectations about meeting their new tutor for the first time, it is important that they see the experience as one that fosters encouragement, hope and excitement. It is common that even parents might feel a bit nervous about meeting a new tutor. It is important however that your child see you demonstrating a positive attitude both about your new tutor as well as to your new tutor.
To start off with, there are likely going to be lots of concerns that you'd like to discuss with the tutor. Please make sure that any 'problems' or anything at all that your child might feel insecure about are not discussed in front of them. You can always contact your tutor by phone or email to talk about these issues when your son or daughter is not present. We find that one of the most encouraging things is that when parents talk about something with the tutor that their child is proud of, whilst conversing in front of them. Even if it's not necessarily related to the areas the tutor will be covering, it is an important part of the process of getting your child to feel comfortable enough with their new tutor to 'open up' and get the most out of their tuition sessions.
WHAT YOU CAN DO AFTER THE LESSONS
It is important that the student feel a sense of 'control' over their situation, and that it is 'their tutor' not their parents tutor. As mentioned before, to get the best results, it is important to wait until your son or daughter is in a good mood before discussing anything about their tutor. When you find that they are in a positive state, it is best to ask questions about their tuition that are positively worded, or even open ended, so that they retain a sense of empowerment about the topic they are speaking about.
Examples of positively worded questions may be "so how good is it having your own tutor?" "What do you like best about your tutor?" and "What parts are starting to seem a bit easier now?" If your child seems a bit hesitant about how to respond, many parents report that using open-ended questions can be helpful so that they still feel a sense of empowerment, whereas close -ended questions can make them feel "backed into a corner."
HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE TO SEE RESULTS?
The answer to this question depends on what you're looking for. Imagine a person throws a handful of seeds in the soil with the intention of growing a tree. A short while later, one of the seeds have germinated and has started to grow into a shrub. The person looking on however does not see the tree they were expecting, and as a result abandoned their efforts before the tree had the chance to fully grow.
If your student has been struggling with a particular subject area, whether it be literacy, numeracy or even both; it's important you know how to judge whether or not 'it's working' by knowing what the signs of short term improvements are and what the signs of long term improvements are.
The first signs of improvement will generally take at least 4-8 lessons, and will manifest as a slight change in your child's attitude. The biggest hurdle to improving their skills is to first improve their confidence towards doing the things they previously believed they were no good at. Remember that it probably took many months or even years to establish the problematic mindset. If you start to see even small improvements in the way your child feels towards their schoolwork in as little as 4 -8 hours worth of tutoring, you can rest assure they are on the right track.
If you're not sure, the easiest way to tell is to pick up on subtle clues, such as their facial expressions and the tone in their voice when they are speaking about the subject. Most parents whose children go on to turn their weakness into their strengths, generally report that after the first 1-2 months, their children's attitude has gone from "I really don't like this" to at least "I'm not too keen on it but I'm not so bothered by it anymore." Then about 6 months down the track, their attitude is likely to evolve into "actually I don't mind this at all anymore" whilst the 12 month mark is likely to result in a greater expression of certainty. By the time a year is up, the student may or may not like the subject that was previously their Achilles heel, but at least the uncertainty they had about it previously will have worn away, to develop into, at very least, a comfortable understanding.
Whether or not your child is 'connecting' with their tutor is another important thing to ensure too. The best way to judge this is to see how your child appears in the hour or two leading up to the tutor's arrival. For the first few weeks, you might detect a bit of anxiety, however this may be because they are worries that they will 'disappoint' their new role model. The best way to tell if their tutor is not having much impact is when your child simply doesn't seem to care less about whether the tutor shows up or not. Any signs of anticipation, whether they be mild signs of excitement or even nervous signs of wanting to impress, are all an indication that your child is at least 'looking forward' to their arrival. If they look forward to their tutoring, they are more likely to be 'open' during the lesson, take more in and be motivated to want to get more out of it.
see the Top of the Class Tutoring Sydney website.

Effective Parenting: Getting Help For Bullying Starts With Discovering The Key Bullying Clues From Your Children



As parents do you want to uncover specific bullying-related behavior that your child may be involved in or observe in others?
As a parent do you want to know how to address bullying?
Do you want to help your child stop or prevent bullying?
If your answer is YES...then this post is for YOU! Join Dr. Joel Haber
Read and enjoy!


By Joel Haber, Ph. D
The following questions are designed to help parents uncover specific bullying-related behavior that their children may be involved in or observe in others. By asking behavior-specific questions designed around the places where your child may be bullied, you can find out the information you need to effectively counter that bullying. You can tailor these questions to your specific situation. Good questions address specific behavior and are not open-ended.
Try to think about the information you want to obtain. Maybe it is a general set of questions about how each part of your child's social life is going. Let's take a school example. Begin addressing the first part of the day when children go to school. If your child goes to school on a bus, you would begin by addressing the specifics on the school bus. If there is a bus ride, it's essential to ask about it because bullying happens when supervision is lean and supervision may be absent on the bus. If the child walks to school, you'll want to find out if anyone greets her or if she ever takes a different path to avoid anyone.
Think about those places where your child may be with less supervision and ask questions about those areas: recess (playing a game or sports), lunch, bus, hallway, locker room, bathroom, in line, walking to and from school, or waiting for pickup. By thinking about those places where your child may be away from supervision, you can begin to think how to specifically address those areas. These may be better questions to ask your child to get specific answers and information that may alert you to a problem:
  • Who do you talk to on the bus?
  • Do you sit with the same children every day?
  • Has this child ever sat with someone else?
  • Who did you sit with that day?
  • Have you ever sat alone?
  • What would you do if that child were out sick, or who would you sit with if you had to find another child?
  • Does anyone ever get picked on, called names, or teased during the bus ride?
  • Does this ever happen to you?
  • Do you ever do this to someone else?
  • Does anyone ever get knocked out of his seat on the bus?
  • Has this ever happened to you?
  • Do kids act like there are assigned seats and has anyone ever challenged that?
  • Has anyone ever been mad at you for sitting in his or her seat?
  • What did that person do to you?
  • Who do you eat lunch with every day?
  • Does it ever happen that your group isn't there, and if so, who would you join for lunch?
  • Do you have someone to play with during recess?
  • Who did you play with at recess today?
  • Do you notice if anyone is being teased, picked on, or left out at lunch or recess?
  • Does anyone ever get left out of a game at recess? Or not have the ball passed to
  • him on purpose?
  • Does this ever happen to you?
  • Who would you tell if it did happen to you? If the child reveals that incidents like this
  • do happen to him...
  • Do your friends know?
  • Have you ever asked them to help you?
  • Have you spoken to anyone in school about this?
  • What adults do you feel safe with in school?
  • What kids do you feel safe with in school?
  • Has anyone who has seen this reported it to an adult?
  • Does your school have any way that you can report this without feeling like it will make things worse?
The early questions about who he sits with on the bus, who he plays with at recess, etc., are meant to check whether your child has friends around in the places where bullying thrives. A child who has friends has a buffer. If the child is being bullied despite having friends around, these friends may need help understanding how to help.
Asking whether your child has ever witnessed bullying may be easier for your child to answer than if you begin by asking if she's ever been a target. Once she's talking about the subject and has seen that your reaction is compassionate rather than judgmental, she may feel less embarrassed to tell you about her own experiences. The third set of questions establishes how comfortable your child and her peers feel about seeking help from others.
You may discover that she's already told a teacher, or that she didn't know she should. You may discover that she would rather eat mud than "tattle." Your objective during this stage is not to lecture your child or convince her of what she should do, but merely to gather information. Your child may talk freely about some questions and not others.
Be sure to watch your child's facial expressions, tone, and change of emotion when you ask specific questions. Avoidance of some questions or hesitation when answering can alert you to a possible problem. You don't want to bully your child to answer what she doesn't feel comfortable answering, but please take note, and refer back to any question or response that seemed to make your child uncomfortable. It is only
Get Help for Bullying from Dr. Joel Haber: Bullying Expert, Counselor, Speaker and Author
Dr. Joel Haber is a Clinical Psychologist and nationally recognized parenting expert who has dedicated more that 20 years to the prevention of abusive behaviors in children and adults.He is a sought after speaker on the topic of bullying and bullying behavior. And works with families of bullying victims and those who actually do the bullying.

4/01/2013

What We Can Do About Bullying - A Parents Guide

As a parent do you want to know how to address bullying?
Do you want to help your child stop or prevent bullying?
If YES...then this article is for YOU!
Read, enjoy it!

The aftereffects of bullying can be serious, which is why parents need to understand how to address bullying. Parents can help their children learn important strategies that can help them stop or prevent bullying. Some of the best strategies for parents can include getting involved more with their children, supporting children who have become victims of bullies and raising awareness of this problem. If you are looking for more answers to help you address bullying with your children, here are more helpful tips and ideas for parents that can help stop or prevent bullying in the future.
Know the Symptoms
One of the best things parents can do to help prevent or stop bullying is to know the symptoms of bullying. In most cases, children will not come right out and tell their parents that they are being bullied. In many cases, they are afraid to break the silence, which is why parents need to take the time to know the symptoms that may clue them in that their child is being bullied. Some of the common symptoms of bullying include: anxiety, vague physical problems like stomaches and headaches, fearfulness, sudden dislike of school, feeling sick on school days, damaged belongings, unexplained bruises and nightmares.
Talking to Your Child
If you do notice that your child is displaying some of the symptoms of bullying, it is important to talk to your child. However, an indirect approach usually works best for most children. Instead of asking outright about bullying, try talking to your child about school, their friends, how they spend their time at lunch or how things are going on the school bus. You may also want to ask your child whether they have noticed if there are any bullies at school. They don't have to admit to being bullied right away to answer this question. The next step is to simply listen to your child. Give them time to talk to you about how things are going at school. If they talk to you about bullying, work on listening and understanding. Avoid showing anger or distress.
Become an Advocate
Another thing parents can do to deal with bullying is to become an advocate for their child at school or any other place their child is being bullied. If the bullying is occurring at school, get involved, talking with your child's teach and the authorities at school to help address the problem quickly. Make sure that the school authorities are made aware of the bullying problem and be sure to keep your own written records of any bullying incidents, meetings you have had with teachers or meetings with other school officials.
Other Solutions
Of course, there are other solutions you can use to help deal with bullying as well. Safety training workshops can often be used at schools to help teach kids about nonviolent ways to resolve conflicts. Enrolling children in martial arts programs is another excellent idea. Martial Arts programs help to teach kids ways to deal with conflicts, they can help improve a child's self-esteem and work to build up self-confidence in kids as well. Some parents avoid martial arts programs because they think they focus on violence. This is not the case. Martial Arts training focuses on teaching children the skills they need to avoid conflict in the first place, which is important for children who may face problems with bullying at school or in other places.



 By Robert L. Jones

The Single Parenting Guide: Raising Kids Alone


Are you a single parent with child?
If you are, then this article is a most read.
Read and enjoy!






Raising a family requires the teamwork of parents. However, there are situations when this is not possible because the dad passed away or a single-parent household is better because of unresolved differences of parents. Though it is ideal to raise children with two parents, sometimes parents living together will just create havoc for the children; thus, it would be better if they live separately. If the parents have problems getting along well, their children will be in an environment of constant disagreements and their kids might even witness physical fights.
Whether you lost your husband because of death or you lost him because you can no longer live amicably together, it is very important to keep your focus on the future of your family (your kids minus your husband) and not be discouraged. In either situation, death or your better half turned into your bitter half; you can get something positive from this untoward incident in your life by changing your perspective and channeling your energy to move forward instead of whining and feeling sorry for yourself.
Refuse to entertain the idea that your children will become failures just because you will be raising them alone. Look around you and notice the support available. It can come from your parents, family, friends and even your kids. You just need to keep a positive outlook.

Raise Responsible Children
Do not be afraid to talk to your children about your family's situation. Regardless of their age, be open in discussing your situation. Your children will then feel more comfortable asking questions and they will be open to you about their feelings. It is best that your children get answers from you than from other people. You will be the best person to give them an explanation. Your communication will also enable you to build a strong bond with your children. Teach them to accept that your family is different but that doesn't mean that they are less fortunate than other children. Teach them to strive harder in their studies and inculcate the value of hard work and responsibility. Children in single-parent households usually become responsible earlier than kids in two-parent households because necessity requires them to develop this trait.

Love and Respect for Others
It is important that you teach your children about love and respect for others. No matter what has transpired between you and their dad, there was love in your relationship. Teach them the value of living at peace and in harmony with themselves as well as with other people. Though they may not agree with the opinions of other people, they must listen and respect other people's points of view. Their responsibility is to listen and weigh these opinions versus their own personal thoughts without being rude, biased or immediately showing negative reactions. Actions speak louder than words; thus, you must walk your talk. You must be in good speaking terms with your ex-husband and must respect him as their dad.

Value Life and Enjoy It
Show them that you value life and enjoy it. Life is a blessing though life's journey requires you to go through hills and valleys. There will always be good times and bad times; otherwise, you will not know the difference and experience the joys of success. Remind your kids that failures are their stepping stones to reach their goals. Keep them focused at the rainbow at the end of the storm.
When they are in the valley they must count their blessings. While in the valley, teach them to change their perspective and look at problems as challenges. When they hit a roadblock they must look for alternative routes. If life hits them with lemons, they must collect these and make lemonade juice. Guide your children to go through obstacles and become better persons because of the experience.
Teach them the serenity prayer - "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference".
Single parenting has its disadvantages but if you are in a situation that you cannot avoid being a single mom, do not be discouraged. Change your perspective and you will reap the benefits of raising your kids alone. Remember that you are faced not with a problem but with a challenge. Your children are not doomed just because you are a single mom. In fact, your children can be responsible and they will learn about love and respect at an earlier age. They will become stronger as they face life's struggles. They will also learn that a positive outlook in life will bring positive outcomes.


By Fade O Adenile of   http://helpingsinglemoms.blogspot.com/

Effective Parenting: Five Good Parenting Skills for Parents in a Hurry


As a parent...in a hurry read and enjoy this,it will help you.







You are a busy parent. When you are not at the job, you are running your children around to their appointments and activities. Shouldn't that be enough? No, your children still need you to relate to them on a personal and encouraging level.
Here are five shortcuts to meeting their emotional needs:
First, drop your child a written note from time to time. Put your note in your children's lunch boxes or in their school notebooks. Your notes do not have to be fancy or embarrassing. Here is an example of a quick note.
"Hi Paula, I hope you are having a great day. I am thinking of you and looking forward to being with you this weekend. Love Mom (or Dad)."
Secondly, offer your child an invitation from time to time. Many parents meet their children at the breakfast table with only a critical eye. Parents mean well. They tell their children to remember their back packs, finish their breakfasts, and get their teeth brushed before heading out the door.
How about letting your child hear friendly banter before leaving for school? How about giving your child a big smile and saying, "Hey, why don't we do something special together this Sunday? A movie? A drive? What would you like us to do together?" By asking to spend time with your child, you are letting your child know how important he or she is, without taking a lot of time from your morning routine.
Third, why not throw out a genuine form of praise to your child? All children have strengths. Unfortunately, many children hear their shortcomings more than their strong points from the adults around them. Most adults think they are helping children when they give constructive criticism. To a point, constructive criticism is fine, but certainly not all the time. Why not tell your child, as he is heading out the door: "Hey Johnny, you are smart. I know you will do well in school today." That sentence takes about two seconds to say but could last a lifetime for a child.
Fourth, give your child a small gift from time to time. You do not have to spend a lot of money. You can pick up a stuffed animal from a garage sale for 50 cents, or you could give your child a gift certificate for a back massage. The point is that a small gift lets your child know he or she is special to you.
You will not spoil your child by this act of kindness. Sure, if you were showering your child with gifts all the time, even if your child would not help you around the house or refused to stop talking back to you, then you would certainly be spoiling your child. However, a child who is cooperative and who is trying hard, deserves a reward sometimes.
Fifth and finally, tell your child: "I love you." It takes about a second to say these words but the effects are monumental. Children who feel loved are more confident, happy, and often more healthy. Aren't these the greatest gifts you could ever give your child? Taking a few minutes to make your child feel special will make you feel special too.

 By Yvonne A Jayne

Effective Parenting: 10 Nasty Tastes Sometimes Used to Discipline Kids

Yea you read that well...Nasty tastes,to discipline...you asked?
I was also shocked and i pondered on it too,when i got it from http://nanny.net
But think this will help you when it comes to discipline....Please read and enjoy!

I've mostly heard of people doing subjecting their kids to some pretty foul-tasting items when dealing with a child that bites, but I can think of a few other occasions when it might be used as a punishment.  And while I’m not a big believer in this type of discipline, I would say it’s a better tactic than hitting your child.  Here are ten nasty tasting items that are sometimes used to discipline kids.
  1. Cider vinegar: This bitter-tasting vinegar is often put into a small bottle with a dropper.  Whenever a small child bites another person you immediately put a dropper full of cider vinegar in their mouth.  The idea is that they will equate the biting with the nasty taste and thus stop the behavior.
  2. Tabasco: This method has been called “hot saucing” and has made it to the mainstream in the news.  It has been touted as being a form of child abuse because of its spicy nature.  I can see how it could be if used too often or if you give them too much, however in moderation it’s just another way to deter bad behavior in a child.  For instance, instead of giving a child a spanking they get hot sauce in their mouth.
  3. Soap: Have you ever had your mouth washed out with soap for saying a naughty word? The threat of getting your mouth washed out with soap is a pretty common one, and I know people who have say that once you’ve had it done you don’t ever want to do anything that causes that sort of punishment again.  I know I’ve tasted soap by accident before and it is a pretty quick response to start spitting it out.
  4. Mavala stop: If you aren’t familiar with this product by its name, it is a product that you can by online to stop nail biting.  Many parents have lost their cool trying to get their son or daughter to stop biting their nails, and have tried several tactics with no success, such as trying to shame them out of it by telling them that their nails look terrible and that it’s a disgusting habit. Unfortunately once this habit takes hold it becomes a coping mechanism to relieve stress in both kids and adults alike.  With Mavala stop you there’s been some success though; to use it you paint this product on the fingernails and the taste is supposed to make kids immediately take their fingers out of their mouths and eventually break the habit entirely.
  5. Femite: Another often embarrassing habit is having your child suck their thumb past when it’s considered an acceptable behavior.  Parents try to discipline their child in any number of ways to get them to stop sucking their thumb, but if nothing is working then you may want to try using Femite.  Similar to the Mavala stop, this bitter tasting product is painted on the thumb and it will stay on through multiple washings.  Some people think it’s mean because children use thumb sucking for comfort, but parents can be willing to try anything to get the behavior to stop.
  6. Lemon juice: Lemon juice is often considered bitter or very sour and unpleasant for kids and adults alike. Sometimes when parents are having problems with their child biting another child or saying bad words they’ll use lemon juice as a form of punishment.  People even recommend dipping a child’s thumb in lemon juice to get them to stop sucking their thumb.
  7. Thum: This is another product that you can buy online that is a commercially produced product with a less than pleasant taste that can be used to discipline a child who sucks their thumb or bites their nails.  The product is painted on for thumb sucking or fingers for nail biting. 
  8. Control-it: A product created in order to help kids control their nail biting, this stuff tastes really bad and will stay on your hands through many hand washings.  Punishing kids for biting their nails is very common.  I know that parents think that they are helping and will use any method out there as the end result will be worth any amount of flavor punishment for their child.  Nail biting has been linked to other self-mutilations as a child gets older and can lead to infections.
  9. Pepper: By dipping a child’s thumb in lemon juice and then pepper the pepper will stick to the child’s thumb.  It is a very nasty flavor when the child forgets that they aren’t supposed to suck their thumb and they put that straight strong pepper flavor in their mouth.  They will probably be coughing and looking for water when this happens.  Pepper and pepper sauce are both used for disciplining children.
10.  Bitter apple:  When I hear this I think of the stuff you spray on chair legs or something to stop your puppy from chewing.  Apparently there are parents that also use this product as a form of disciplining their children.  Like several of the products listed here, it’s usually used to stop them from biting other children or to stop them from sucking on their thumb or biting their nails.  In fact, the bulk of these nasty tastes seem to be related to stopping a behavior related to biting, chewing or sucking.  The tabasco is the only one I’ve heard for general disobedience. 

What to do you think?